


Break

by bandgrad2008



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 44,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27652601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandgrad2008/pseuds/bandgrad2008
Summary: Starting garden fires can be both good and bad.
Relationships: Tori Vega/Jade West
Comments: 17
Kudos: 83





	1. Start of Something

**Author's Note:**

> This story is already completed and has 30 chapters. I'll be posting them daily.
> 
> Please review, I may adjust my chapters if anyone suggests any ideas that might make it better.

"You're insane."

"What's new?"

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "Do we have to do this? I mean, seriously. So the guy almost hit you. Does that really make it okay to break into his car and-?"

I round on her, my arms crossed. "Will you _please_ shut up? It's quiet and you're not exactly talking quietly. I would appreciate if you would just keep your mouth shut before someone decides that the voices they're hearing aren't inside their heads." I turn back to the car and kick the tire. "People who work at a mental hospital shouldn't be driving, especially when there are pedestrians."

"Jade, I was there, remember?"

I laugh quietly. "Yeah, and you just stood there. So, you know what? Fuck you." I don't know why she's even here. I thought I'd seen the last of her for the day four hours ago. "Why _are_ you here anyway? Don't you have a curfew?"

She shrugs. "I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk. And you looked like you needed some company when you so kindly set my mom's garden on fire." I smirk. "It's not funny. My mom's going to be pissed."

"Oh, lighten up, Vega. You worry too much. And honestly, it's getting a little annoying." I focus on the car. "How fast do you think you can run?"

"Why?"

"Don't ask stupid questions. We're in a mental hospital parking lot breaking into a car and you're asking why you need to run? Do you need to be in there too?" She glares at me. "Look, if we have to, you run home. You were in bed all night. Got it?"

"What about you? Your house is farther away than mine."

I roll my eyes. "I didn't say _I_ was going home." Glancing back at the entrance to the hospital I make sure no one else is around and punch the window. Ripping the door open I pull wires from the steering column, cutting them with my scissors, and jam the ignition.

"Jade!" she whispered loudly.

I turn to look at her and realize security is running toward us. "Vega?" She glances at me. "Run." I watch as she takes off down the street and use my scissors one last time, stabbing the back tire as I set off, security right behind me. As I climb the fence, a hand grabs my ankle and I kick back, catching the guy in the face. Fuck, I need to get out of here. I throw myself over the fence, falling hard, my back meeting the asphalt with a thud, and I wince as I stand. The security guards are relentless, jumping the fence when I sprint away from the scene of the crime, ducking into an alley way between a hardware store and a cigar shop. Apparently, this town makes poor decisions, putting a mental hospital, tools and weapons and fire all in the same mile. We weren't even in Los Angeles anymore, at least not the happy side. This was the run-down slum where all the criminals and low lives lived.

I hadn't even thought of that when I told Vega to run. Shit.

I crouch behind the dumpster and listen for the running footsteps. They run past and I sigh. At least I got them off of my tail. After twenty minutes of hiding, I step to the edge of the alley and glance around. It's about five in the morning, meaning people are going to wake up soon to go to work and I can't be here. They'll wonder why one of the "rich kids" is wandering around in the slums so early in the morning and they'll put me to the car vandalism. I knew I should have stolen the damn thing. I'd be home by now.

My cell phone vibrated with a text message. _I made it home. What about you?_ At least I wouldn't have to worry about Vega getting caught or hurt. I reply. _I didn't get caught._ I figure I owe her that much. Walking toward the better neighborhoods of Los Angeles I hear a noise behind me and stop in my tracks. I know it's a foolish thing to stop when you hear a noise, but this was a click. Someone has a gun, pointed at me.

"Turn, slowly." I hesitate, thinking about whether or not I should turn around or if I should just keep running. "Turn around." I take off running, but I don't get very far. There's a searing pain in my lower left leg, and I cry out, falling to the ground. The guy is digging into my pockets, trying to find something on me, but the only thing I have is my phone and scissors. I try to face him, but he pins me on my stomach, one hand holding my face to the ground, and I feel a cold blade on my arm, followed by sharp pains. The bastard is cutting my arms.

"Get the fuck away from her!" a female voice shouts and the guy on top of me is shoved off. I guess I've lost too much blood because my vision's getting fuzzy, but I see two figures wrestling. There's something dark on a tan arm and I realize who the fuck saved me from being cut to pieces.

"Vega…" I croak. "You're…"

BREAK

_What the fuck happened?_

I open my eyes and groan at the bright light that seems to be burning a hole in my brain. Why is it so bright? My room is the darkest…wait. I don't remember going home. Where the fuck am I? There's a groan on my right and I turn my head to find out what is making that noise. The first thing I see is the top of a brunette's head resting on tan, bandaged arms. The face is turned away from me, but I know who it is, and immediately my heart sinks. She's hurt because of me. Didn't she say she was at home? How could she have been there? I try to lift my hand to touch her head, to wake her, but my arms were heavy. I couldn't move anything.

"Vega…" I mutter hoarsely, hoping that will attract her attention. It does, and she raises her head, staring at me. "Vega…you were supposed to be home. How did you…" She frowns and doesn't answer, just hugs me, wincing at the pain in her arms. Before I know it, she's kissing my cheek, my forehead, my nose, and then finally my lips. I groan in frustration and she pulls away. "What are you doing?" She buries her face in my neck and cries. What the hell is wrong with her? "Vega…are you okay? Did you get hurt or something? You're really freaking me out."

"You…you weren't waking up," she sobs into my skin. "It's been two days…and you weren't waking up." Two days?

Wait.

"So, I was out for two days, and you're the only one here? And you kissed me?" What the fuck? "Vega…what else is going on? Where's Beck? Or Cat? Or even Andre and Robbie?"

"They were here earlier but they had to go to school. I…I told them I would let them know when you woke up." She cries quietly and I know my neck and hair is soaked by now. "Jade…I…I thought you were going to die."

"What about you? Are you okay? Why weren't you home?"

"It felt wrong, so I turned around and headed back to see if you were okay. But then…I saw the guy and…he was on top of you, and I thought he was…" She pulls away. "He was cutting you. You were losing so much blood."

"Vega…I'm fine. I promise. What happened to the guy?"

She shrugs. "He knocked me out, I think. I woke up here yesterday and I fought the nurses to be allowed in here with you overnight."

"Beck didn't…"

She shakes her head. "I fought him too." Vega hangs her head. "I know I shouldn't have…but I felt like this was partially my fault and I needed to make sure that you were okay. And about the kiss…I didn't…I wasn't thinking." She looks away and I know she's lying. I poke her arm with a finger, and she stares at me. "I…I'm sorry, Jade. I can't."

"You can't what, Tori? You can't tell me the truth?"

She shakes her head. "You'd hate me even more and then you'd go and tell Beck and everyone that I kissed you and that's enough for me to want to say goodbye to you. You're awake, so I should go call them." She moves away from the bed.

"Vega, wait." She stops. "If it makes you feel any better, I'd have kissed you too." The half-Latina girl turns and stares at me, confused. "I…I was going to, once we were both at your house. I never intended to go to my house because I wanted to spend the night at yours after we finished in the parking lot. But then I got held up and all of this happened, and I couldn't. I never got a chance to."

"But you and Beck…"

"We broke up. That's why I was in a bad mood. That's why I set your mom's garden on fire. That's why I didn't protest when you followed me for miles. But I never wanted you to get hurt. I should have stopped you. I should have told you to go home." I sigh. "Please…talk to me before you call them. I don't want them right now."

She hesitated, glancing toward the door, before finally returning to her seat beside the bed. "Jade…I don't know what you want me to say."

"Then don't say anything. But I really can't move…well, not as much as I would like. Do you mind coming up here?" She doesn't protest, carefully avoiding my arm as she climbs into the bed with me, resting her head on my shoulder. I kiss her forehead and wrap my arm around her waist the best I can, which isn't pretty, and she frowns.

"Jade…don't hurt yourself more…"

"I won't, Vega…Tori. Just…stay here with me for a little while?"

She nods and kisses my cheek, holding me tightly and I can't help but think why we never showed how we felt before, why I spent all that time "hating" her, and dating Beck. I didn't know the answer to any of that. But what I do know…

Things are going to be changing.


	2. Can't Do This

"So, you never told me…was your mom pissed about the garden?"

I roll my eyes. Mom had been all over me about that, after I had taken the blame to protect Jade from any more stress. I had to buy new plants myself and plant them to replace the pale girl's handiwork.

It's been two weeks since that night, and we've been trying to figure out this whole thing between us. Jade hadn't gone to school the first week, since she was shot in the leg and had her arms sliced like a cutting board, so I ended up going to class and getting her homework for her. We haven't had much time to discuss anything even related to what's possibly happening between us, and when we do, we always end up interrupted by someone, usually Trina or one of our friends.

I realize Jade is staring at me. "What?" She smirks and I remember I haven't answered her. "Yeah, Jade, she was pissed off. Thank you for framing me with a miniature controlled brush fire and marking me an arsonist in my mother's eyes. I'm surprised I'm still alive, to be honest." I shake my head sadly, faking tears. "Those poor plants, they never had a chance!"

She playfully punches my shoulder. "Alright, alright, quit being so damn dramatic," she laughs. Her arm wraps around my waist and she pulls me to her. I glance down at the limb around me and trace the scars with my index finger. "They don't hurt anymore, you know."

"I should have stopped you," I murmur, and she shakes her head, kissing my neck.

"Tori, you _did_ try to stop me. I wouldn't listen to you, so don't blame yourself for any of this." I'm still getting used to the sweet side of Jade, even though it's been a rare sight the past two weeks, and I know she _should_ be blaming me. I should have asked her where she was. Then she wouldn't have been alone. She kisses my neck again. "Let it go," she whispers.

"Jade…where does this leave us?" She frowns. "Are we…"

"I don't know," she states, interrupting me. "Do we have to be anything right now?" She pulls me closer, nibbling on my earlobe. I want so badly to tell her that I want to know before we do anything, but her mouth is really distracting. "Come on, Tori…we'll figure it out later." I finally manage enough control over my brain and shake my head. She sighs, resting her forehead on my shoulder for a moment before completely pulling away. "Do you feel like going somewhere?"

I stare at her. "But your leg…"

"I'll be fine. It's not like I've lost the fucking thing. But your room is becoming really depressing." She smirks. "Come on…I promise we won't go and destroy someone's car." She slides off of my bed and grabs her crutches. "I'll drive."

"I don't think you should…" She shoots me a look and I sigh. "Alright, let's go." She slowly makes her way down the stairs, with me following close behind. "Mom, we're going out for a bit. I'll be home soon."

"Where are you going?" The look on my mom's face lets me know she's still pissed about the whole thing two weeks ago. She doesn't want Jade or me to go out and get into any more trouble, but it's not like I didn't learn my lesson the first time.

"Look, Mom, we're just going to…"

"Cat and Andre texted us and wanted to know if we wanted to hang out. I completely understand if you don't trust us enough to stay out of trouble, especially Tori, but I thought it would be nice to get some fresh air." Jade never ceases to amaze me.

Mom stares at us for a moment, no doubt trying to figure out if Jade's lying to her. I almost expect her to sic Trina on us and make her "chaperone" us and I hope to God that she doesn't. She sighs and waves us off and I open the front door for Jade, following her outside. Once in her car, with her in the driver's seat, I turn to her. "We're not actually…"

She shakes her head. "No, we're not. I texted both Andre and Cat to cover for us, though. I just…I figured we could get out and be alone for a little while. Do you have any problems with that?"

"Not a single one." She smirks and backs out of my driveway, heading for the park. Since it's nine, the park has been closed for an hour, but it doesn't stop Jade from slowly and carefully climbing the fence. "Won't we get in trouble for this, Jade? We promised we wouldn't…"

"Vega, chill. What kind of trouble could we possibly get into at a closed park? We're not doing anything technically illegal, so just relax." I sigh and follow her to the swings. There's something about being around Jade when she's like this that's so…strange. I mean, I'm used to her being this tough person who could care less what's going on in other people's heads. But ever since the attack, she's been acting like she's unsure of that, as if she's afraid of what people think. And it's a change. I sit on the swing next to her and kick myself into motion. "Look, Tori, I don't mean to be a gank about some things, like when you ask what we are. I just…I don't know."

I nod. "I know. I just don't want to be some fun little toy for you. I want to be able to walk through school holding your hand or kissing you at my locker or anywhere in public. I want people to know how I feel about you."

"I know. I want that too. But…I don't know if I'm ready for that. Beck and I only broke up two weeks ago, after being together for two years. If I just randomly show up at school with you…people will think I broke up with him for a girl. Not just a girl…you."

I shrug. "Who gives a fuck what people think about you, Jade?" She stares at me, stunned at my language. "Beck broke up with you, right? That's what you've been telling me. We both know he can get just about any girl he wants, so why can't you be happy too?" I stop the swing and look at her. "You're right, Jade. You _are_ a gank about some things. But you haven't been like that for two weeks. You've actually been a decent person toward me."

"You don't get it, Tori. Everyone knows we hate each other."

"You've been at my house for the past week. Knowing Cat, the whole school found out already. God, Jade, you're making this a bigger deal than it is…"

"It _is_ a big deal!" I sigh and move in front of her, grabbing the chains on her swing and pulling her against me. Before she could protest, my lips were on hers and she automatically responded. Either she's lying about caring what everyone thinks, or she really is afraid. She pushes me away. "Vega, I can't."

"You can't…or you won't?"


	3. New to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd really appreciate some feedback. Please enjoy.

"Are you going to tell anyone?"

"I don't know what else to do."

Beck and I are sitting on the couch in his RV, watching some movie on the small television that his parents wouldn't let him connect to the cable. I would rather be with Andre or Cat right now, but this wasn't something I could tell Cat yet, even if she _is_ my best friend, and Andre was more Vega's puppy than a close friend of mine. Robbie was too weird, so there was no way I'd even consider hanging out with him, not when that creepy puppet of his was only going to hit on me the entire time.

That left Beck. And even though we broke up and I pretty much just came out and told him that Vega and I are a little more than friends, he's being incredibly calm. In fact, he kissed my forehead, said okay, and asked me to hang out and watch a movie because he didn't want me driving anymore with my leg. So here we were, cozied up on the couch and watching some movie involving a guy with multiple personalities that meet up at a motel and think there's a killer out to get them. Seems like my type of movie, right? Yeah, I know.

I sort of do wonder what Vega's doing right now or has been doing ever since I dropped her off at her house. Beck's arm slips around my shoulders and he looks at me. "Some people might not be okay with you and Tori being together, you know. And I know you'll say you don't care if they do or not, but I know you, Jade. You _do_ care because this isn't normal for you."

I shake my head. "It's not just that, Beck. I spent all this time trying to bring her down in front of people just so she would feel how I feel sometimes, taking a backseat to someone else. I used to want to see that stupid smile of hers knocked off her face. I wanted to do that and more, and now…I don't want that. I don't want anyone else to do it either because I _want_ her to be happy. Do I even make any sense?" He nods. "I sound like some marshmallow or something, saying I care about her feelings, but I do care. And I don't want people to hurt her like I've tried to, day after day."

"So why didn't you just tell her that, instead of taking her home and coming here?" That had occurred to me, but she wouldn't have understood. She would have made some comment about me being…soft. I can't have that. I laugh when the truck slams into the old man, pinning him against the wall. Beck shakes his head and sighs. "How can you find that funny? He was saving the kid."

"Yeah, but it didn't do any good. The kid still gets blown up next." I smirk. Hopefully, he takes the hint and drops the subject, but it's Beck. I'm never off the hook easily with him. He doesn't say anything for another few minutes, when the kid is blown up in the car. I laugh again and he rolls his eyes.

"Jade, do you want to be with Tori or not?" I nod. "Then it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks, as long as you care about her. So, go back to her house, tell her you want to be with her and decide what to do then. But _talk_ to her about it. Give her a chance to tell you what she wants and come to some compromise or something. She'll understand."

Beck's always been like this. I can never win with him, but he makes a point. And I'll never win this, but with Vega, I think we'll be okay. The two of us sit in silence for the rest of the movie, except my occasional laugh when someone died, and Beck rolls his eyes. At the end, he turns off the movie and turns to me, as if silently asking me what I'm going to do. "I'll think about it," I tell him. "Don't…don't talk to Vega about this."

"Let me drive you home." I nod and he hands me my crutches, helping me out of the RV. I don't live too far from Beck's, so when he drives my car home, I kiss his cheek and watch him walk away in the direction of his place.

The next morning is school. Since I had stayed out at Beck's until one this morning, I'm not in the mood to go to school. Unfortunately, Beck isn't letting me skip, even going as far as showing up in my bedroom at seven this morning and dragging me out of bed. His reason was to make sure I go to school and talk to Vega, even though I could do that later. I groan, sitting at the kitchen table once I'm dressed and ready for school, and he sets a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me that he had been cooking while I was getting ready. When I open my mouth to ask for coffee, he places a cup in front of me. He thought of everything, how sweet.

"Beck, you're insane. You know I could talk to her later when we're not at school. And I'm tired."

"Stop complaining, Jade. You're going to school, so quit trying to get me to go away. I know you're tired, but with coffee you'll be less of a gank than usual." Damn him for knowing me so well. I finish breakfast and he smirks, handing me my backpack before taking my dishes to the sink and he produces another coffee, leading me out to my car. Of course, he's not going to let me drive my own car, due to my leg, but I don't mind. With the mood I'm in, I'd probably get us killed on the way to school.

He walks close to me, like we used to, and I scan the hallways for Vega. I stop at my locker and glance around. Cat joins us, going on about something ridiculous that I can't follow, and I notice the Vega sisters finally come into the hall. The younger Vega looks like she hasn't slept for a couple of days, and I wonder if she even did get any sleep last night. The other Vega is going on about something as always, elbowing her sister when Tori isn't paying attention, and I wait until she walks away. Beck catches sight of her and wraps his arm around Cat's shoulder's, leading her away from me.

Vega notices me and hesitantly makes her way across the hall to me. She doesn't know what to do or to say, and neither do I, to be honest, but I _do_ want to give her a chance. She leans against the locker next to mine and forces a weak smile. "Look, Jade, about last night, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you to do anything, and I certainly shouldn't be telling you to try to be with me."

"Vega…Tori, listen. I…this is new to me. You're…you and it's different than what I'm used to. It's not normal for me. I'm used to having a _boyfriend_ , not…having feelings for a girl, and that kind of scares me."

"I get it, Jade, I do. It scares me too, but I figured we would deal with everything together, not alone like you seem to be making us do. I just…I want us to try, but I feel like I'm pushing you to…" I cover her mouth with my hand, and she nods, knowing I want her to stop rambling. "I'm sorry," she mumbles.

I shrug. "There's nothing to be sorry about. We'll talk at lunch, alright? Meet me in the janitor's closet?" She nods and I pull her in for a hug, ignoring the fact that we're not alone in the hallway and people are watching us. So much for people not being suspicious…Jade West hugging Tori Vega is not a sight people see every day. In fact, I don't think anyone _has_ ever seen me hug Vega, let alone be nice to her. It's just…not normal.

I can see Beck and Cat talking to Andre down the hall, and Beck has a knowing smirk on his face. Sometimes I want to just punch him for being like that, but I have to admit, if it weren't for him, I'd probably be at home, avoiding Vega at all costs.

Damn him.


	4. When Did You Become Jade?

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

I roll my eyes and press against Jade, hoping to push her away. I was wrong. "Come on, Jade…Is there a reason you pinned me against the door as soon as I shut it?" She shrugs, smirking. "So, you wanted to talk?"

The Goth girl nods and kisses me, a quick kiss, but it leaves me wishing she hadn't, not while we're at school. Damn it, Jade. "Yeah, so, I was at Beck's last night after I left your house." I frown. "Oh, chill out, Vega. We broke up, remember? Anyway, we were watching a movie, a _fantastic_ movie at that…" She pauses and somehow, I know they watched a horror flick. What else for Jade West? "I told Beck about us. I needed to figure things out and he wouldn't shut up, and I just…He was the only person I could talk to about how I felt, plus he knows me, although I really wish he didn't, at least not as well as he does…"

"Jade, you're rambling."

"Right, look, he told me the reason I care is because this isn't normal for me, and it's not. Like I said before, I'm used to having a boyfriend, not a girlfriend, and it's just…I don't know how to handle it." Is she saying I'm her girlfriend? I'm confused. "I want you to know that I don't want to rush into this, Vega, but I do want to be with you. I admit that, both to you and myself, and of course Beck knows, but I don't know if I'm ready to let _everyone_ know that yet. I want to enjoy being with you before people start asking questions."

"Jade, are you trying to say something?"

She rolls her eyes. "You're unbelievable, you know that? I'm trying to tell you how hard this is for me, and you're probably not even listening. Do actions speak louder to you? Do I have to actually kiss you for you to understand?" Yes. She raises her pierced brow. "Jeez, Vega, seriously? You're going to make me kiss you?" I smirk and she rolls her eyes again, ducking her head and kissing my neck. "Do you?"

"Do I what?" She growls, nipping my neck. "Yes, I understand. So, what do you want to do?" I can feel her smirk against my skin as she plants another kiss, just below my ear.

"What I want to do and what we should do are two completely different things." I feel the heat rise into my face and she laughs, briefly kissing me on the lips before pulling away completely. "I think we should take it slow. You know, go on a date or something before we let everyone know, right?"

I stare at her. "You…You can't do that and act all nonchalant."

She crosses her arms and smirks. "We're not even dating yet, and you're already telling me what to do?" I grin and she moves closer, her hand reaching for the door. "Come on, the bell's going to ring soon." As if on cue, the bell rings, and Jade's smirk is ridiculous. Before I can say anything about it, she's pinning me against the door, her hand on my cheek, and then she's gone.

How the hell she managed to get out of the janitor's closet with me pinned against the door, _and_ when she's using crutches, is beyond me, until I realize the door is wide open and I'm nowhere near it. What the…I'm so confused. Sikowitz is the only one in his classroom when I arrive, save Jade, who's sitting in the back of the class, her signature bored expression painted on her face. Where's the rest of the class? I'm never the first or second one here.

Jade's eyes meet mine and she raises her brow, pointing to the seat beside her. I never sit in the back of the class, _or_ next to Jade, and I know that if I do, people are going to be surprised, like they were this morning when Jade hugged me. I hesitate, and she seems like she's becoming impatient, but she's trying to hide it. I sigh and sit next to her, and she smiles a genuine smile, not a smirk, not her fake smile, a _real_ smile.

The classroom finally welcomes students, some of them glancing at Jade and me with curiosity, some with dirty looks, and then Beck, Cat, Andre, and Robbie with mixed expressions. God, it's not like we were actually making out in the hallway, which is probably something I wouldn't object to, and I know Jade wouldn't, considering she made out with Beck in the hallways all the time. Once everyone's in their seat and distracted by Sikowitz, slim fingers thread through mine, a thumb caressing mine, and now I know why she wanted to sit in the back of the classroom. She wants me all to herself before she has to share our relationship, or whatever this is, with everyone else.

After everything Jade's told me about how she feels, and I know that wasn't easy for her to do, since she's supposedly this tough girl who says "Fuck the world and everyone in it" or any other variation of that statement, I know I want to be with her. I mean, who wouldn't? Okay, so maybe a lot of people wouldn't date Jade West, much less talk to her, in fear she'll stab them with scissors, but I would. And I am. I think.

She glances at me with a confused expression, and I realize I've been staring at her. And so has the rest of the class. Jade's hand is no longer in mine, instead crossed with her arms, but she doesn't look as menacing as usual. She actually looks a little worried or concerned or something close to that, but I've never really seen it on her face, so I don't know what to call it. The rest of the class is watching us, still some with curiosity and others with hate or whatever. Screw them.

"Vega…Are you okay?" she mutters low enough for me to hear once Sikowitz regains the attention of his students, and I nod, my hand slipping into hers again. And I _am_ okay because I'm ready to do this with Jade.

BREAK

Trina has to be the worst driver in the world. Jade and Beck had offered a ride with them, but I needed to go home, and they live in the opposite direction. And besides, Jade and I are only starting to date, and I don't want to rush into hanging out with her all the time, especially since my thoughts keep roaming to the worst possible places when it comes to her. This is ridiculous. "Trina, let me drive or something before you get us killed."

"I'm not going to get us killed, you will! And you want to know why? You're absolutely insane! You and _Jade West_ , of all people, are dating?"

I freeze. "We're not…"

"Oh, don't lie to me, Tori. I'm your sister and I know when you're involved with someone, considering you get all flustered when their name is mentioned. You're not very good at hiding things, you know. And I wish you wouldn't date Jade. After all, she's the reason you were almost arrested _and_ ended up in the hospital with your arm cut up because _you_ were dumb enough to get into a fight with a dude with scissors. Have you gone completely out of your mind?"

"I haven't lost my mind. And that wasn't totally Jade's fault. I could have said no and told her to go away."

"Whatever floats your boat, sis." She drops the subject when she pulls into the driveway and I head upstairs to my room to do homework that I really don't want to do. My phone vibrates and I open the text message from Jade. _Did you get home safely or did that psycho sister of yours kill you in a horrible car accident?_ Wow, Jade…way to be dark. I reply that I'm home in one piece and toss my cell phone onto my bed before going into the bathroom to take a shower. "Hey, Tori, Andrew's here!"

I could hear Andre's frustrated correction downstairs and sigh, going downstairs. We _just_ got home. I want some peace and quiet before I have to deal with questions and speculations, and I know what this is about. "You and Jade seem a little nicer to each other. What happened there?"

I shrug. "I guess that being put in the hospital kind of changed us."

"So, you're going to start dating?" I stare at him. "Come on, Tori, I saw you guys holding hands in Sikowitz's class. How long has that been going on? Since you guys were attacked? That's messed up, girl. She and Beck had just ended their relationship."

I throw my hands up. "He broke up with her, not the other way around, and it was just…it's something we considered, and we've been talking about it since she woke up in the hospital. I didn't tell her to have feelings for me, and I certainly didn't want to feel anything about her, but I do. And we're not even sure what we're doing, but I can't stop, and I don't want to, Andre. So just…butt out and let us figure it out."

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "I was just asking. Damn, when did you become Jade?" He shrugs. "I'm just going to…I'll see you at school." I watch as he leaves through the front door, and he slams it behind him. What the hell was that supposed to mean, that I became like Jade? Just because I told him to butt out of mine and Jade's relationship, I'm like Jade? I've never talked to Andre like that before, and it feels weird that I have. I hate being mad at him, or at anyone, even though Jade, and the exceptional Trina, are the main causes of any anger I ever display or feel.

I stare at the door for a few minutes before going upstairs and locking myself in my bathroom. Maybe a hot shower will help me get over whatever I'm thinking. Forty-five minutes of steam and warm jets does it and I turn off the water, stepping out of the shower, grabbing the towel off of the rack and wrapping it around me. When I open the door to my bedroom, I'm caught off-guard by the pale Goth girl lying in my bed, with _my_ laptop, watching a video of some random performance from a month or two ago.

_What is she doing here?_


	5. Entertain Me

"Planning on getting dressed?"

"Tell me how you got in here first."

I pause the video on the screen and glance at her, my eyes starting as far down her legs as I could see, now that she had moved closer to the bed, and moving upward slowly, finally reaching her face what felt like ten minutes later, and she was staring at me. But where Vega would normally be a little flustered and uncomfortable, she's watching me curiously. Sighing in frustration, I turn away from her, to allow her to get dressed while I answer her question. "Beck dropped me off at home, and I decided there was nothing to do at home, so I drove myself here and of course, the front door was unlocked. I know your dad's a cop and all, but that's not going to stop someone from breaking in."

"So, you just came over for absolutely no real reason?"

I nod. "Yeah, that's pretty much it." I wait until I feel her weight on the bed before I turn around to find a completely dressed Tori Vega staring at me. "So now that I'm here and I have no intention of leaving, what are we going to do? You're not going to kick me out, right? You shouldn't…I have an injury."

She rolls her eyes. "You've had that 'injury' for two weeks now. But no, I won't kick you out."

"Good, now…entertain me." I smirk as she crawls closer to me and she leans forward, kissing me briefly before pulling away and jumping off the bed. "What the hell, Vega?"

"Now we're even," she counters, copying my smirk as she leaves the bedroom. What the fuck was that all about? Is it because I left her in the janitor's closet after I kissed her? I groan and slide off of the bed, heading downstairs to the living room, where I can hear Tori in the kitchen fiddling with the microwave. I collapse onto the couch dramatically, sighing loudly so that she can hear me, and all I hear in response is her chuckling. "You know, Jade, you break into _my_ house, show up in _my_ room, and then demand that I entertain _you_. That's kind of messed up."

"Well, if you want to be technical, I didn't _demand_ anything. I just merely _suggested_ that you entertain me." I turn on the TV and watch as she sets a bowl of popcorn on the couch next to me before prancing over to the DVD player and feeding it some unknown disc that I couldn't see. Picking up the bowl of popcorn, she sat next to me, my arm slipping around her waist almost automatically. "So, what are we watching?"

She shrugs. "I figured you'd hate watching anything remotely close to what I like to watch, so I found two of the only horror movies we have in the house." So, I sit through one of the cheesiest so-called horror flicks without saying a word, and I can't even laugh at Vega because she's actually paying attention, which is weird because she's usually not into things like this. I can see her wince every so often when someone is attacked, but that's about it. Damn, Vega, did you grow a backbone?

Actually, I can't say that she didn't have a backbone before because she's stood up to me so many times that I've lost count. She's pretty confident about everything she does, and she's not even really scared if she isn't. She never even really seems afraid of me, more disappointed or upset at something I do. The only time I've ever seen her scared…I look at my arm and frown. She thought I was going to die. Is that what it takes to freak her out like that?

The movie ends, and I glance at Tori. “So, that was considered horror?” I ask, and she rolls her eyes.

“That’s what someone considers horror anyway, according to the categorized genre,” she snarks back, and I laugh. “Do you want to watch something else to forget that ever existed?” I shake my head and pull her down onto the couch, cupping her cheek and kissing her with everything I'm worth.

"Hey, Tori, have you seen my…uh…" We pull apart and look over the back of the couch to where Trina is standing on the bottom step, hesitating to take that final step into the living room. "I told you that you were dating, didn't I? And you said you weren't." I glance at Tori in confusion, but she just shakes her head. "I know you better than you know yourself sometimes, Tori." I turn my attention back to the older Vega girl. "And you…If you break my sister's heart, I'll break your hand."

"Or my eardrums…" I mutter under my breath and Tori smirks. "I won't make any promises…" At this Tori's face falls. "But I'll try my best not to." And I hate to be soft, but I don't want to hurt Vega. There are just the kids at school that might hurt her, and I'll have to hurt them. But if our relationship is anything like mine was with Beck, we're in a world of trouble. Could you imagine Vega being all…like Beck? I mean, she's already got the nice thing going for her, but if she starts giving in to fights or doing whatever I want…Wait, she kind of did, didn't she? She didn't really argue with me when we went to that mental hospital and started messing with that guy's car.

We watch Trina roll her eyes and go back upstairs, and Tori pulls away from me to change the movie to whatever else is considered horror. When she returns to the couch, Vega's hands cup the back of my neck, pulling me to her. Good to know that her sister's interruption hasn't derailed her train of thought. We're ignoring the movie on the TV, and I bite back a laugh when the tape starts the "I want to play a game" spiel. I have no idea why in hell she would want to watch this movie, or better yet consider it a horror flick when it's actually a comedy…Okay, to me it's a comedy. But she doesn't even care. And right now, neither do I.

Somehow, I ended up lying down, her straddling my waist, and her lips on mine. And it's incredible that she's taking charge, something Beck really never did, even though he's supposedly a "hormonal teenage boy", but I was usually the one who initiated everything. I think that could have been figured out, though, seeing as everyone thinks I'm the pushy one. How am I pushy?

The sound of a key in the door hits my ears, and Vega's off of me in a heartbeat, sitting where she was with the popcorn in her lap, and strangely, it doesn't even look like she was just taking advantage…Wait, what? She wasn't taking advantage of me. No one takes advantage of me. I sit up and run a hand through my hair before reaching for the popcorn with the other. Mr. and Mrs. Vega open the front door and come into the house, oblivious to what her daughter and I were just doing not even a full minute ago, and smile at the girl next to me, eyes wandering over me questionably.

Vega's eyes are on the screen, but she shoots a brief glance in her parents' direction. "Hey, Mom, Dad, is it alright if we go to the mall after this is over? I promise we won't get into trouble or anything. Trina's just…you know…being Trina."

Her parents nod without hesitation, still confused that I'm sitting here. I'm guessing she told them we had a disagreement or something last night, since I dropped her off and just left. It wouldn't be too much to figure out, considering I've been here for the better part of two weeks, only going home to sleep maybe twice a week because my father is out of town on business, and I really don't want to be home alone. I may as well have moved in here in that time period. I should have, right?

Unfortunately, my father will be home tonight, so I'm going to have to go home. He hasn't seen me since before Vega and I ran off and got into trouble, and honestly, I don't even think he knows that I was attacked. This ought to be fun.


	6. She's Hurt You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a good holiday. 
> 
> I'm currently working on the next chapter of Legend, as well as a Robbie-centric fic that I'm rewatching Victorious to help with. 
> 
> Please enjoy and review.

"What do you think they're talking about?"

"Does it really matter?"

I roll my eyes and glance at Jade. "Yeah, it sort of does, especially since I may have snapped at Andre on Friday." She raises her brow. "He was getting on my case about us. He thinks it's messed up that you and I have been nicer to each other since the attack, considering we figured out that you and I have been talking about dating or whatever since then, and that was right after you and Beck broke up, so naturally I was after you." I shake my head. I don't want to tell her how he said I was becoming like her.

"Damn, Vega, I never thought I'd _ever_ hear that you snapped at your best friend." She smirks and glances toward our friends in the food court. "So, do you want to go over there and sit with them and _apologize_ to Andre?" Before I can respond, she threads her fingers between mine and pulls me toward the table that was currently seating four, plus Rex. She pushes me into the chair next to Andre, her hand still in mine. Without looking at me, Andre wipes his hands free of pizza sauce, stands and grabs his tray, walking away from us without a word. I frown and glance at Beck, who shrugs before turning back to Cat and engaging her in some conversation she probably won't hold. Jade squeezes my fingers and sighs. "I guess that's not going to work. Maybe he'll be better on Monday."

I nod and pull my hand from hers. "Do you want anything to eat?" She nods and I leave her with the rest of the group, heading over to the pizzeria. The line is so long, but I know Jade won't eat anything else in this place, and our friends are mad at me, maybe at her, so I can't go back just yet. Why did I have to snap at Andre? I wish he hadn't been so judgmental, acting as though Jade and I planned this, but I couldn't help it.

He acted like one of those friends who absolutely hates the boyfriend or girlfriend of his best friend, which I don't get because Jade's one of his friends too. And I know Beck's been his best friend forever, so he's probably chosen Beck's side over the breakup between Beck and Jade, but Beck's cool with his ex-girlfriend dating me, so why can't Andre? Hell, even Trina, in her weird protective sisterly way, is okay with my relationship with Jade. She even encourages it almost, which is definitely strange for her because she usually only cares about her or trying to hook up with someone I date. I’m glad that’s something I don’t have to worry about while I’m dating Jade.

None of this really makes any sense. I like Jade a lot, and yes, I know she and Beck broke up the same night that we went and got ourselves into that mess, and I kissed her two days after that, but it's not like we just jumped into a relationship and said "Fuck you" to everyone else. We've considered everyone else, as well as ourselves. And I'm glad we didn't start dating back then. That would have been one hundred times worse and I don't think we would have been ready to be together before we even figured anything out.

Slender arms slip around my waist and I lean back into the familiar body that I recognize as Jade, even though this is the first time we've even been like this. She rests her chin on my shoulder, and I remember that we're standing in the middle of a crowded food court, and I'm _still_ in line for our pizza. I need to stop thinking sometimes or I'm going to lose my mind. "You know we could skip the food and just go," she suggests in a whisper and there's something in her voice that tells me she didn't have a very nice chat with Beck.

"Is everything alright?" I ask. I can see Beck and Cat with Robbie at the same table, Beck and Cat still lost in their conversation and Robbie trying to get their attention.

She shrugs. "That depends. Do you really want to stand here forever and wait for pizza or do you want to go eat a proper dinner?" I smile and she kisses my cheek, fingers slipping through mine as she pulls me toward the mall entrance. "Beck and I talked for a few minutes," she says, completely randomly once we're in the car, but I'm interested. "There's something that you and Andre need to discuss, something I do know about, but you need to hear it straight from his mouth. And I just want you to know that whatever you do is your decision."

"Jade…you're not…We just started dating." She frowns at this. "You're not breaking up with me, are you? Just because I snapped at Andre doesn't mean that I'm mad at him or anything for butting into our relationship, but I need…"

"Be quiet for a minute, Vega. I don't know where that 'breaking up with you' idea came from, but that's not even close. I just…I called Andre. He's going to meet us, but he isn't staying long. He only agreed to meet us so that you could talk to him, even though he doesn't want to." She pulls into the Chinese restaurant parking lot and I notice Andre leaning against his car. "Go on, talk to him. I'll meet you at the door."

I nod and climb out of the car, and she heads for the front door of the restaurant. Andre nods in my direction and I lean against Jade's car. "Look, Tori…about what I said to you earlier, I'm not cool with you dating Jade, simply because she's Beck's ex-girlfriend and friends don't date friend's exes. I was going to ask you out. I wanted to go out with you, but you yelled at me because I was trying to explain why it was a bad idea for you to date. If this is how you're going to act when you're barely dating her, how's it going to be when you're with her for a month? She's a bad influence on you."

"I don't need you to be my parent, Andre. I think I can handle myself. And I already told you, this whole thing with Jade wasn't on purpose. We _talked_ about this more than anything, I promise you, and I don't think you're the one to say I don't belong with her. I only see you as a friend, Andre…nothing more. You're like my best friend."

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, alright, I get it. Have fun with Jade, enjoy her or whatever. But the second she hurts you I'm not going to be there. I warned you."

Andre turns to open his car door and I hold it closed. "Did she ever hurt Beck? They were together for two years, and he wouldn't stay with her if she hurt him, Andre. Why are you so worried she's going to hurt me?"

He slams his hand on the door. "You don't fucking get it, do you? Jade hurts anyone and everyone. She _has_ hurt Beck, but he was so in love with her that he stayed with her. The only reason he broke up with her was because…You know what, their relationship is none of your business. It's not even mine. So just go."

I watch as he leaves and turn to find Jade standing outside the double doors. She's frowning, as if she heard our conversation, and I can't help but think that she did. How did she hurt Beck? Would she really hurt me in the same way?

BREAK

Jade drives home, to the house I've only been to twice in my life, and we head inside. It's late Sunday night and we have school in the morning, but my parents thought it would be okay if I stayed over at Jade's, thanks to Jade convincing them that she didn't want to be home alone, but she needed to be home instead of at my house. So here we were, climbing the stairs to the second floor, and I follow her into a bedroom, walls black as expected, but it wasn't the typical bedroom of a Goth girl. As much as she enjoys death and gore, there was nothing in her room that revealed that about her. There were, however, posters of Metal bands on her walls, which I did expect.

"Jade, can I ask you a question about what Andre told me?" She shrugs and nods once. "He said you hurt Beck when you were dating him. If you hurt him, why did he stay with you? Usually when someone hurts someone else, that person leaves them."

She frowns. "Well, I didn't hurt Beck like you probably think I did. I didn't cheat on him, and I didn't hurt him physically. I didn't intend for it to happen, but there was this guy, a gang member, and he wanted me to do things for him…things that I’d rather never tell you, but they were enough that when I refused, the guy threatened to kill Beck if I didn't do them. That same day, the guy was arrested, along with most of the gang. Beck had found out and tipped the cops and one of the guys escaped and attacked him. Obviously, he wasn't killed, but he was beaten. And it was my fault. Andre's only been sticking around for Beck…he doesn't exactly enjoy my company." She shrugs. "Beck stayed with me because he loved me."

"So, Andre thinks the same thing's going to happen to me?"

She sighs. "It sort of already did, Vega…except we weren't together. And you were supposed to be home and out of harm's way." She turns away from me. "I'll be damned if it ever happens again and if anyone even comes close to you, they'll regret it."


	7. Serious?

"Are you serious about her?"

"It depends on what you mean by that."

Beck sighs and nods slowly, glancing around the Asphalt Café. Today it seems emptier than usual, and we're alone at our table. Vega had something she needed to talk to one of her teachers about, Andre's avoiding us at all costs, Cat didn't even come to school, and no one cares about Robbie or Trina. So as usual, I'm stuck with Beck to discuss my relationship with Vega. What is he, my therapist?

"Are you serious about dating her, Jade? I'm not talking about later on down the road, I just want to know if you're serious about right now."

I nod. "Of course I am, Beck. This isn't some game to me. I'm not just playing with her or acting or anything. I actually do want to give this a try, and if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work. Why can't anyone understand that?" He frowns. "Look, Andre's your best friend and all, and he told Vega that I hurt you, so naturally I had to explain to her what happened. If he's trying to sabotage this or something, he's dead wrong."

"Jade, I don't know what's going on with Andre. He isn't talking to me, and I have no idea what I even did."

"He's just being an ass because Vega rejected him. I don't know why he had to go and tell her _now_ that he was going to ask her out, Beck. He never really showed that interest in her before. She even told me she didn't know he liked her that way, and I don't think he does. I think it was just something he thought he could use as a last resort and he thought she would choose him over me."

Arms slip around my neck from behind, and Vega kisses my cheek before sitting down. "Hey, sorry I'm late." She looks between us, well aware she just interrupted our conversation by the expression on Beck's face. I smile and slip my fingers between hers under the table. "You know, if you guys were talking, I can just…you know, see you later."

I squeeze her hand. "It's nothing we can't talk about later. Did everything go alright with your teacher?" She smiles and nods, eating her salad.

My eyes meet Beck's and he nods, knowing to keep our conversation between us. Vega doesn't need to know _everything_ we talk about, especially when it comes to Andre. Things are going to become personal, and she doesn't need to worry about them. "So, Beck, I heard you got the lead in the play coming up."

He grins like a little boy in a candy shop. "Yeah, I did."

I roll my eyes. "I don't think it was much of a competition for him to get the lead role as Aladdin…" He smirks and nudges me with his elbow. "Who ended up with Jasmine's part?"

Beck frowns. "I have no idea how she managed, but Trina did." I stare at him in shock. Trina Vega, owner of the worst talent at Hollywood Arts has a _lead role_ with Beck in a _play_? Is the world coming to an end? He shrugs. "I honestly don't know what happened. We all know she's horrible, but it's like she just flicked a switch and became someone else. It was the weirdest thing."

Vega just shook her head. "Do you think she's just been messing with us, acting like she has no talent and everything?" Beck and I shrug. She kisses my cheek and let go of my hand. "I have to go and set up for a presentation in my next class." I cup her cheek and pull her back to me, kissing her. She smiles and pulls away. "I'll see you later."

I watch as she walks away, and Beck clears his throat. "So, you two have decided to be out?"

I shrug. "Let people figure it out for themselves. Vega and I aren't going to let them stop us." I take a bite out of my burrito and smirk. "Besides, if anyone messes with her, I'll do bad things to them with scissors."

"Yeah, I think it's safe to say you care about her."

BREAK

"Is this going to be a regular thing?"

Vega and I are sitting on the swings in the park at midnight, long after the park is closed, and we've been silent for the most part. She's watching me now, biting her lip in that cute…wait, cute? When is _that_ word in my vocabulary? God, Vega, you're making me lose my mind. Although I'm sure she could _try_ to make me lose my mind in a better way…What the fuck am I thinking? What was the question? Oh, right… "Do you want it to be?"

She shrugs, looking away across the empty playground. "It's quiet out here, for one thing. We don't have to worry about Trina, or my parents, or our friends, or anyone." She glances at me, biting her lip again. Damn it, Vega, stop it. "We could do whatever we wanted to out here and not worry about anyone." Do you have any idea what you're implying? She sighs. "We have school tomorrow. Do you want to head home?"

And so, we do. I can see that she's tired; she's had a longer day than I have, project after project in class after class, and she needs to sleep. I pull into her driveway and walk her to the door, even though I'd rather just turn around and leave before I do something to her, and what do you know, Vega's bold again, pinning me against the wall before I can even respond. And I'm _well_ aware that we are standing outside where the world can see us, or someone can open the front door, but does she care? Apparently not, by the way she's kissing me.

Eventually she finally pulls away and smiles. "G-goodnight, Vega." She nods, as though she's accomplished something, and kisses me one final time before going inside the house and closing the door behind her. I do _not_ stutter. What the fuck was that? What feels like ten minutes pass before I return to my car, slipping into the driver seat, and stare at the front door to the Vega house. Where the hell did _this_ Tori Vega come from?

Before soon, she'll have me whipped and I'll be doing everything she asks of me, and where will the old Jade West be? Wrapped around her little finger, that's where, because she knows exactly what the hell she's doing. And I'll be completely clueless. Oh my god, what if she starts with the names? She'll make me sound soft! I can't let that happen.

Okay, so Beck and I used to make out all the time, or honestly, we used to until Tori Vega showed up at Hollywood Arts. He had never said anything about her, nor had he really looked at her like I do now, but I had talked to him about her anyway. I bring it up because last night, one Tori Vega initiated a full-steam make out session that nearly got carried away, and I'm not going to let it get that close again until she knows for damn sure that she won't regret anything. I know I won't, but the way Vega's been acting, I don't think I'd have much choice in the matter. And oddly enough, I'm perfectly fine with that.

I sigh, backing out of the driveway and driving toward my house. My father's car is in the driveway, and when I go inside the house the door to his study is closed, and I know it's best if I don't disturb him. I wouldn't want to, not right now when my heart feels like it's going to explode, and my head feels like it's going to pop off of my shoulders like a broken PEZ dispenser. I climb the stairs to my room and close my door behind me, remembering the last time Vega was in here, how I had ended up explaining how I had indirectly hurt Beck and that the attack on us hadn't been random, and how that had turned last night into one of the strangest nights of my life.


	8. Break Up?

"That was…"

"Was Beck high?"

Jade and I are sitting toward the back of the Black Box Theater, wondering what the hell we just witnessed. It's the opening night of _Aladdin_ , and Beck had told us that Trina had actually been decent enough to get the part of Jasmine. Apparently, he either had to be drunk or on drugs to think that because the Trina we just saw was the same we've always seen. He seemed irritated when he was singing, and she would burst in with her usual off-key rendition of Jasmine's part.

Jade shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "You are _never_ bringing me to another performance that Trina takes part in." I nod in agreement and she smirks, leaning toward me and kissing my cheek. "Let's ditch the rest of this monstrosity and go do something fun, huh?"

I roll my eyes. "Jade…I promised Trina I would stay for the whole thing, and you told Beck _you_ would, so let's just…" I cut off when she nibbles on my earlobe. "That's not going to…Jade…stop…we can't…" Good thing we're the only two back here, or close to the only two left in the entire theater, thanks to Trina's horrible acting and singing, if it can be called that.

Jade kisses just below my ear. "Come on, Vega, let's go. We're not missing anything here." And it's so tempting to, but I _did_ make a promise to…Fuck it, I want to go. I stand, grabbing Jade's wrist and pulling her out of the room, the smirk evident on her face even though I'm not looking at her. She pushes me against a random wall in the hallway and kisses my neck. "Who knew Tori Vega broke promises?"

I roll my eyes. "I wasn't going to, but then you had to go and get all _persuasive_. Damn you." She shrugs and kisses me, her hands on my hips, holding me to her. We've been together for a month, with nearly no problems, except for a few run-ins with Andre, but he'll get over it. I'm tired of trying to talk to him when he isn't going to listen.

Jade nips my neck. "If you want to go back and watch your sister's disaster in there, we can…and I'll even try not to complain about it." She seems sincere, but it's Jade. I just know that as soon as we walk in there, she'll be muttering insults and curses and things she would rather die from. She kisses me.

I shake my head. "I thought we were going to get out of here and go do something fun." She smirks and takes my hand, dragging me outside to her car. And I don't even feel bad for leaving Trina and Beck's performance, or in Trina's case, lack thereof. All I want right now is to be with Jade somewhere else where no one can find us to bother us and…oh great, my cell phone's ringing. She glances at me with a frown and I roll my eyes. Cat's calling me.

"Hey, Tori! Where did you and Jade go? The play's only half over…"

"I got a little sick and Jade's taking me back to her house. Tell Beck he's doing great and tell Trina…I'll see her at home." Before she could break into a super long story about the play, I hang up and turn to Jade. "I love Cat, but sometimes she's just…"

She laughs. "She'll always be crazy, random Cat, so you can't say 'sometimes', Vega." I roll my eyes and she smirks. "Come on, where do you want to go? Your house? My house? The park?" I shrug. "Come on, you have to have somewhere you want to go?"

"You're the one who suggested that we ditch the play!" I lean against the passenger door and look at her. "Why don't you decide where we go? You always do anyway." But she just shrugs and pins me to the car, kissing me. Our month together has been just like this, mostly making out, but when we aren't…it's like Jade is having an internal battle with herself. In school when we're sitting at lunch or in class, she seems so shut off, like she has so much on her mind, and I understand that there are things that bother her, but she should be able to talk to me about it.

Sometimes she won't even talk to me. She'll just stare off into space and it seems she isn't with me half the time, and I just don't know what to do. I don't know what's going on with her, and I wish she would tell me. I do notice that every time Andre's around, she just glares at him and won't speak. And the feeling there is mutual between them because he does the same, and I wish he would get over it. According to Jade, I've already been hurt the same way Beck was and we weren't even dating at the time.

"Is it too early to go to the park?" She glances at her phone and shakes her head, pulling me away from the passenger door so she could open it. I slide into the seat and she closes the door, walking around the car to get into the driver seat. Turning the ignition, she begins driving toward the park. “Is something going on with you, Jade? I mean, besides everything with Andre and the fact that you're both incredibly weird around each other, even though I know why…You've been acting off. Is something bothering you that you can't tell me or something? You know you can tell me anything, Jade, and I wish you would. Not everything, just…enough to know what you're thinking."

She seems to take offense to this. That's not what I wanted from her. I just wanted to know what she was thinking. "Everything's fine, Vega, but if you must know, I've been thinking about this, about us, and what the hell we're doing. I mean, I don't even know what we're doing anymore. Yeah, we're dating. But it's just…Don't get me wrong, I care about you, but I know I'm the last person you should even be with. I'm not good for you. Hell, I almost got both of us arrested, just because I was pissed off at some guy that almost hit me with his car. And what did you do? You just stood off on the side and watched, instead of doing anything, which I know you would have if you honestly felt that way before. You would have without a single thought."

"I came back for you, Jade. When that guy was cutting your arms, I stopped him…without a single thought about whether or not I would actually come out of it unharmed. I didn't care, as long as you weren't the one that he was hurting. Does that mean nothing to you?" She didn't look at me. "You know what, Jade? If you have to ask yourself or me if I care about you…maybe you should just find someone else."

She sighs. "I know you care, Vega. You're just…"

"It's not normal for you, I know. I tried to tell myself that you would get over that and believe me, I wanted you to. But it's like you're stuck on it, and I don't know what to do. When you were with Beck, did you ever have feelings for someone else? Have you _ever_ cheated on him?"

Jade looks away. "I did have feelings for someone else. He found out and we broke up. As for cheating on him…I have a few times before, but it never once amounted to anything. There was only one person I wanted to cheat on him with. I didn't care, and when I saw her…I didn't see him." She turns to me. "Why did you have to come into my life, Vega? Why did it have to be you?"

"I don't know what you're…"

"When you're 'in love' with someone for so long, and someone else just has to come along and suddenly you don't know what to do, you don't know where those feelings come from or why you feel them…It doesn't make any sense. Why it was so easy for me to forget with you around. Fuck it. I'm not in love with you…no, but I do love you. And we shouldn't even be together."

"Do you want to break up?"

She shook her head. "Yes…no…I don't fucking know. I don't know what I want where you're concerned, except that I do want you. And it hurts that you deserve so much better than me. And I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to care about me."

"I don't…"

Jade nods. "I know that, Tori. Just…Fuck. What do we do?" She stares at the steering wheel and sighs, parking just outside of the park gate. "We'll figure it out later."


	9. Understand

"Wait, you said what?"

"Are you even paying attention?"

I don't even know why I'm here, really. It's early Sunday morning and Beck texted me to come over to his RV so he could talk to me about the play or something. Yeah, we're not discussing that. No, we're talking about my night with one Tori Vega after a very confusing argument or conversation or whatever it can even be classified as. I didn't mean to get into it with Vega, it just happened, but we still went to the park and that was where things got weird. "Jade, are you still there?"

I roll my eyes and glare at Beck. "Look, I'm only going to say it one more time. I told her that I love her. And you know what she does? She asks if I want to break up! She doesn't even…I tried to tell her that I want her, but I don't deserve her. God, who would ever want someone as fucked up as I am? After the hell I've been through, put you through, and I wasn't even dating her when she got hurt…What am I supposed to do, Beck?"

Beck ran his hand through his hair. How can girls find that sexy? Oh wait, I did once. "I don't know what you're supposed to do, Jade. Tori's not hard to love, you know. It's almost as easy as hating her, but of course you would know all about that, wouldn't you?" I sigh. Of course, the guy is no fucking help at all. "What happened after you guys went to the park?"

This is where I'm lost. "Okay, first, it isn't easy to love her. I mean, it is, but it's not like, oh I'm going to love Tori Vega today, no, loving her is like slamming into a brick wall over and over and I just don't even want to stop crashing. But as for what happened afterward, I don't know. We went to the park and jumped the fence like usual, and she acted like nothing was wrong, like she just wanted to forget even fighting with me." I don't understand her, or girls, or something. I know I'm supposed to, being a girl, but who said I think like a normal girl? I play with scissors, I like to inflict pain, and I…What is going through Tori's head? This would probably be a lot simpler if she wasn't so complex. She's not a dumb girl who doesn't have a damn decent thought in her head that doesn't make any sense. She knows what she's thinking. She's smart.

Smarter than me? Probably.

That's what makes everything harder, the fact that she isn't like other girls. She doesn't think about boys all the time, at least I don't think she does, and she's not all prissy like most girls. She isn't like…Cat. What the hell am I supposed to do? Beck snaps his fingers in front of my face. Does this boy know me at all not to do that? "Did you hear what I said?" I stare at him and he sighs. "Of course you didn't. I said that maybe she just wanted to enjoy being with you? The park is kind of your place with her. Look, I'm not Tori. I don't know what's going on through her head. But what I do know is that maybe you should just stop thinking about everything and just go with it."

That would be a typical Beck answer. I decided to change the topic to something else that happened last night. "So, what happened to the play? Trina was fucking horrible. You said she was actually decent when she got the part. But last night it sounded like a cow being slaughtered." He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. My analogies are pleasant, aren't they?

Beck shrugs. "For the past month she _has_ been pretty decent. I don't know what happened last night. It was pretty embarrassing, though. I think they'll be recasting Jasmine for the remainder of the show."

I stare at him. "I don't think anything about Trina Vega could be decent. It's not a word that could ever describe her, even if she managed to ever get talent." Alright, maybe I'm being a little cruel toward the older Vega girl, but come on. The girl has no friends, she thinks she's everything important in the world…It's just a little annoying. Okay, _really_ annoying, but if I'm dating her sister, I guess I might have to be a little nicer toward her, right? Eh, I'll work on it later.

Beck smirks. He agrees with me. See, he isn't nice _all_ the time. "Alright, so you made fun of Trina. Let's get back to Tori. What are you going to do about her? I mean, as far as anyone can tell, you're good together. You seem happy, but are you really, Jade?"

If anyone had asked me if I was happy with Vega two months ago, I would have stabbed them in the eye with scissors and let them bleed to death. But now? Am I really happy with Vega? I can't believe I'm about to say this. "She makes me happy. In all her annoyingly good ways, and her ability to make me smile, I'd have to say that yes, I'm very happy. I think if we were to break up…I'd be miserable."

He nods, frowning. I know what he's thinking. When he broke up with me, I was angry, but I wasn't too worried about it, like I am about Vega. What was I supposed to do? He broke up with me because I looked at the girl just a little longer than usual. He figured it out. And even so, he's still an incredible friend, even though we'll only be friends from this point on. I love him…I just love Vega more. He flashes me his signature smile, swallowing whatever he was going to say, and I really do hate to hurt him like that. "Do you want to catch a movie or something? Or do you and Tori have plans for today?"

I shrug. "She texted me earlier about Trina bugging her with something, so I was going to swing over there and save her from that torture device." Seriously, Trina's like a walking Iron Maiden. She'll trap you with some stupid "exhibit" of talent, or lack thereof, and it stabs you like a bunch of iron spears. You'll bleed out, but it'll be forever before you actually die.

Beck smirks and hugs me before letting me go. I drive to the Vega house and knock on the front door, barely counting to three before the door slams open and Vega is begging me silently to do something while her sister is singing rather horribly on a karaoke video game. I don't know what's worse…hearing Trina _try_ to sing karaoke or being hit by a car. I guess I'll never figure it out because I'm not dumb enough to walk in front of a car.

Grabbing my wrist, she drags me upstairs to her room and closes the door behind her. I pin her against it, glad to finally do it first again, considering Vega's been pretty bold lately. And I can tell that's exactly what she's thinking right now by that look in her eye, when she starts looking at my mouth instead of my eyes. Guess I should kiss her then, right?

"Thanks for coming over," she mutters, and I smirk, kissing her before I let her go. "Trina was really…I really want to know how the hell she got the role of Jasmine in the play. That's seriously messed up."

I shrug. "I guess the world may never know." Sitting on the edge of her bed, I watch as she leans against her bedroom door. "So about last night…" She frowns. She doesn't want to talk about it anymore than I do. "Look, I just want to say that I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that. It's just…I love you. And I don't know how to deal with it."

Vega nods and crosses the room, sitting next to me on the bed. "It hurt, Jade." She looks away. "It hurts that you think that I don't care. Why can't you believe anything I say? I told you that I didn't want to see you hurt, and you said I didn't care. I wouldn't have thought twice if I did. And you're right. I didn't think twice. I didn't know what the hell to do, but I did it anyway." She cups my cheek and turns my head to face hers. "Why?"

"I don't know, Tori."


	10. Trina Killing

"What the hell are you two doing?"

"Go away…"

I'm facing the opposite wall, but I'm pretty sure Trina's standing in the doorway, hands on her hips, being the nosy…I'm too tired to finish the rest of that statement. I don't remember falling asleep, but I guess Vega and I were too comfortable while the movie was playing. She's stretched out next to me, her head on my shoulder and she's mumbling curses at Trina. She's so cute when she sleeps…Alright, I need to stop saying the word 'cute', especially when describing Vega. "Trina, would you kindly shut the fuck up and go away?" The words come out a little meaner than I intended, but what the hell, she gets on my nerves.

"You don't even live here! And she's my sister. She shouldn't be…frolicking…with the likes of you." Okay, she's about to piss me off. "Besides, it's dinnertime. And do my parents know what you two do when they're not around?"

"That's none of your business, so leave us alone. Can't you see that some of us are trying to sleep?" She can threaten to tell her parents all she wants. Tori and I jumped that wall last night while Trina was making victims of us all with her merciless lack of talent. Surprisingly, they were cool with it, but Vega and I are still being careful around them. I'd love to see the look on Trina's face when she goes to tell them.

"You shouldn't be sleeping together…" I fish my scissors out of my back pocket and hold them up, as if I would throw them. And I really want to right now, maybe poke a hole in that big head of hers and bring her down a few notches. I don't think anyone would mind if she got hurt a little, right? She holds her hands up in defeat and backs out of the room. "Fine, I'm going. But you guys should come down to dinner."

Once she's gone, I kiss Vega's forehead and she mutters something about Cat eating too many ice cream cones. She dreams about Cat? If that's not awkward while I'm lying here, then I don't know what is. "Vega, come on, your sister said it's dinnertime. We should probably head down there before your parents decide I'm keeping you away from them and kick me out of here." She doesn't budge. Time for the fake tears. "Vega, would you rather I'm kicked into the street and possibly get hit by a car, and then attacked by vultures that don't know the difference between a living being and a dead carcass? Would you rather I end up in tiny pieces with blood pouring out of my…"

She slaps my shoulder. "You don't have to be so gruesome, you know." She smirks. "Although I don't think you would be attacked by vultures if you were hit by a car. Someone would take you to the hospital."

I snort. "Yeah, you'd think so. They'd probably take one look at me and say, 'Oh what a shame…Jade West was hit by a car…' Then they'd jump back in the car, back over me, and drive off to whatever happy family they belong too, while I lay in the middle of the street, crushed beyond repair, and where would you be? You'd be home with your family, wondering why you haven't heard from me, and then you'll hear at school on Monday that I was hit by a car and died. And that would be on your conscious because you would be at fault for not getting up and going downstairs to eat dinner with your parents and that…"

"Jade, be nice." I love how she never corrects my stories or tells me to stop trying to gross her out. I _did_ tell her I love her for a reason. She kisses my neck and slips out of bed, combing the tangles out of her hair with her fingers. "Now come on. If I have to get up and eat, so do you." I roll my eyes. This isn't the first time I've eaten dinner with her family, but Trina and her endless monologues of bullshit no one cares about are annoying as hell, and I hate hearing her talk. No, I hate everything about her. She's such a…

Tori drags me by the hand out of her room and down the stairs. She really knows how to break thoughts and make me just forget what I'm even thinking about altogether, and I don't think she even knows she does. I should just stop thinking and take Beck's advice about not thinking, just to go along with it. That's what Vega's doing, right? I wonder if she has these long inner monologues about whether or not she's good enough for me, like I ask myself all the time. I don't know that I am, but I want to believe that I am.

What am I even talking about anymore? See what she does to me?

Vega and I sit at the last two empty chairs at the table, ignoring Trina's ongoing gush about some movie producer she ran into and she's going to be famous one day if it's the last thing she does. Yeah…it's going to be the last thing she does, alright. Vega knows what I'm thinking and taps my leg with her foot, shaking her head in disapproval. But I know what she's really thinking. Trina's so full of herself. And how the hell do I keep thinking about Trina? This is infuriating.

The parent Vegas eat in silence, clearly not interested in their elder daughter's rant, which I find to be hilarious. Usually parents are supposed to care about their children, right? Well…I'm sure they do deep, deep, _deep_ down inside, but they really don't care about Trina's narcissism. Personally, I think the girl should get help for that or something. Isn't that a pathological disorder or something? I really don't care.

Okay, starting now I'm going to stop thinking about Trina. The only Vega I care anything about is sitting next to me, rather closely I might add, and she's the only reason I'm putting up with… _that_. Her elbow bumps mine and she has this devious glint in her eye that makes me wonder what the hell she's thinking sometimes. Is there something I'm missing, or do I just not understand things that I'm supposed to know? I'm so focused on her that I don't realize that Trina's glaring at us because we aren't paying attention.

After an almost quiet dinner, save for the one and only chatterbox, Vega and I head back upstairs to her room. I'm kind of relieved that we told her parents, although it only resulted in a list of rules that we now have to follow…but come on, we weren't planning on doing anything anyway. At least…not here. Who would, when a psychopath resides in the bedroom down the hall? That would be insanity, and I'd probably have to kill the girl with a pair of scissors.

I think it's best if I chill out with the killing-Trina fantasies…

Okay, so I need to chill out on bashing Trina period. But I can't because it's so damn _easy_ when she sets herself up for the...Wait, what's Vega doing? I watch at the younger Vega closes and locks her door before coming to me and shoving me on the bed. Pinning my wrists, although I doubt I'll move because I'm too curious to see what's up her sleeve, she kisses me harder than she ever has, making my head spin.

She drives me absolutely and positively insane.

And I wonder what the hell she's doing, why she's like this all of a sudden. I mean, we were all cuddled up before we had to go downstairs to eat dinner, so why wasn't she like this then? Oh wait…we were both sleeping. I hardly think that's a legitimate excuse though. How _can_ anyone sleep when near Tori Vega? I think I'm too comfortable with her. Normally, I would be plotting her demise, but now I'm just…I hardly even insult her anymore. What the hell's up with that? I bash at Trina every chance I get, which used to be what I did to Vega, and now…now I've gone soft for the girl. This is just weird.

She pulls away from the kiss and rests her forehead against mine with a smile. "I love you."


	11. Unusual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and review.

"So, wait, _Tori_ made the first move?"

"She always does."

Beck snorts, and I stare at him. How is that funny? He certainly didn't have to interrupt me just to ask a stupid question and then laugh about it. How inconsiderate of him, considering this is my relationship we're talking about. I punch his shoulder and he leans back against the couch. "That's just… _Tori_ …I could see her taking charge in performing or something, but with you? And sex? Have you and Tori actually...?"

I groan. I knew it was a bad idea coming here to talk to him about this. This is kind of awkward anyway, since he was my boyfriend for so long. "No, Beck, we haven't actually done anything, but I suspect she wants to.” He burst out laughing, and I seriously want to hit him. "Will you shut up so I can talk? This is awkward enough telling _you_ about it, of all people." He holds up his hands in defeat. But I can see his shoulders shake. He's trying not to laugh. "Look, Tori's weird lately. Well, okay, maybe not weird, but it's not like her, you know? She keeps looking at me like…I don't know…and when we're alone it's like a switch has been flipped."

He grins, and I know what's going on in that teenage brain of his. Typical guy. Why did I come here again? I glare at him and he frowns, failing at being nonchalant. "Alright, why don't you talk to her about it?”

I feel bad for how I've treated him in the past, but he's still the guy who broke up with me. And maybe I deserved it. My head wasn't in it, and my heart wasn't, and that's the difference between what I had with him and what I'm beginning to have with Vega. But what am I supposed to do? I shouldn't be comparing my current girlfriend with my ex-boyfriend. That only leads to problems and I'll be damned if I start problems with Vega.

"Beck, I'm sorry for how it was when we were together. I don't want you to think I didn't care about you or that I didn't love you because I did. You know better than anyone that I don't tell someone I love them if I don't mean it." He nods. "But I…"

"You found someone you loved more. I know, Jade. I'm not incriminating you for it because I probably would have done the same. I didn't break up with you just because you were thinking about Tori. I broke up with you so you could try and have a chance with her, and you're with her now. I think things worked out pretty well, don't you think? You have Tori, Cat's a possibility, and we're both still friends." Hold up…Cat? It's like he can read my mind. "Chill, Jade, Cat and I are still just friends. That doesn't mean I don't like the girl."

"Does she like you back?" He shrugs. For Beck, that means either yes and he's working on it, no but he'll try to, or he doesn't know because Cat is an adorable girl who hasn't shown him emotion either way on the matter. I think they would be cute together, but not perfect. Cat isn't exactly the romantic type of girl and she's definitely not the hooking up kind, and Beck's too much of a guy to be romantic. They might just clash later. But I have to boost his esteem. "I hope it goes well for you." Really, what else am I supposed to say?

"Thanks, Jade. But now, we have to work on what your problem is with Tori. If you think something’s going on with her, then just ask her about it. Coming to me and talking about it isn’t really going to help you solve it.” I nod. I'll do that when I go back to her house tomorrow. I haven't been there for two days, since Vega went with her parents and her sister out of town.

Beck hugs me and I head home, taking my time. I haven't spoken to my father since he came back, mostly because I've been spending all my time with either Beck or Tori, and now that Tori isn't around and I'm bored, I could probably try to talk to him. He won't care if I do or not; if it doesn't involve business or money, he's not interested. I'd be better off just ignoring the fact that he's even home and just stay in my room or everywhere else in the house.

When I reach my house, my father's car is gone from the driveway. Perfect, the guy left again and he's probably not coming back. Let's see if he at least left a note this time. And I'm actually surprised to see a sticky note on the kitchen counter where I set my keys. He had some business meeting to go to, so he won't be back until late tonight. And he'd pick up a pizza. What the fuck? My father is actually acknowledging the fact that I live here too? That's insane. No…that's impossible. He's never given a damn about me ever since I refused to follow his footsteps in business and chose my preferred career. He hated when I dated Beck because he thought Beck was only with me for whatever money we had or that he was going to kill me in some alley if I didn't give him what he wanted. Imagine how he'd feel if he found out about Vega.

He's met the girl once that I know of aside from the time Vega said she saw him at the grocery store. She told me she didn't talk to him, since she knows he's not much of a man of words and that he doesn't particularly care for me. That's probably why she hasn't even bothered to mention anything about coming over or staying here or anything. My father just isn't someone to be around.

I take the stairs up to my room and leave my door open, which is unusual for me because I _always_ shut it, whether I'm home alone or not, but today's just not normal. So why not switch it up a bit? There's a thud downstairs, but I just play it off as my father coming home early. Maybe he did. Who knows? Who cares? I hear a door open and close and roll my eyes. Of course, he'd come home and go straight to his study without even a word to me. Then again, maybe he didn't see my keys on the counter as he passed by the kitchen, so he probably doesn't even know I'm home.

Eh, whatever. I can enjoy some peace and quiet alone up here before I go downstairs to face him. My cell phone vibrates with a text from none other than Vega, and I respond before grabbing some random book off of my shelf. Apparently, the rest of the Vega family, who I'll probably never meet and probably won't ever want to, has always considered Trina to be the favorite. I guess we know why Trina's so self-centered and delusional. Maybe it will help her somewhere in the real world, but certainly not in performance or high school.

There's a voice downstairs that I don't recognize, but I can't hear a word they're saying. Maybe my father brought home a client and they're discussing something. I really don't care. They don't know I'm here anyway, since my car is still in the garage where it's been, unmoved. My father probably thinks I'm at Beck's or something, since I'm well aware he has no idea about anything that has happened in the past three months of my life, let alone the six before that. Some kids say that their parents should mind their own business and that they don't know anything about them, or that they don't care. I would give so much for my father to care even the smallest dot about me. Those kids don't know what they're talking about. They don't understand any of it.

The sound of doors opening and closing reaches my room and I close the book I wasn't reading. Why bother when there's so much to think about? And the funny thing is, I'm not even really thinking about Vega. That's sort of messed up, considering I can't get her out of my head. Maybe I should go to Cat's. I haven't really hung out with her since Tori and I started dating, and I'm sure she'd want to go and get ice cream or something. Or watch some cheesy childish movie.

Actually, I have no objection to that second option. Watching something as strange as Cat's normalcy would be a good distraction from all these thoughts of my father. I text the girl and get a response almost immediately, telling me I should come over right away to watch a movie she just bought. Put that statement in Cat-speak and you know exactly what it says, emoticons and all. I grab my keys and head downstairs, pausing when I notice the study door cracked open. It's never open, always shut and locked to keep me out.

I roll my eyes. Maybe he was in a huge hurry and forgot to lock the door. Cat's house isn't far, so I walk, and she greets me halfway up the driveway, bouncing like she just ate half the bowl of sugar, which wouldn't surprise me, and she chatters all the way into the house and upstairs to her room. We pass her brother's room, whose door was open for the first time in all the times I've ever visited, and I notice he's playing some video game.

There's almost nothing abnormal about her brother, he just has the worst of luck. Cat's stories seem to make him sound crazy or something, but the guy can't help it. He takes special medicine to keep him in check. He's a pretty decent guy too and he shares quite a few interests that I do. He loves blood. And I mean he seriously loves it. He used to be so obsessed with it that he would prick himself with a needle just to watch it seep from a hole in his skin. Okay…yeah, he's weird. Cat shouts a 'hi' at him, which he returns with almost the same enthusiasm, glancing at us for a split second. As soon as he sees me, he grins, and can you imagine Cat as a boy? It's so adorable.

Cat grabs my hand and pulls me to her room, closing the door behind us, and I sit on her bed while she plays with the DVD player. We're going to watch some trippy cartoon movie that would be better if the viewer was high, but…Well, it's Cat and I don't think I'll even enjoy this movie as much as she will.

Halfway through the movie, Cat pauses it and races from the room. I'm used to this though, and sure enough five minutes later the redhead returns with a large bowl of popcorn and two sodas. That's the thing about Cat. She won't eat popcorn through an entire movie, and I've never really understood it. I've never seen her do it, and I've never asked. But the movie ends sooner than I thought it would and I tell Cat that I'm going home.

The door to the study is still open a little, and it's starting to bug me. I guess he never came back, since his car is still gone, but what would be so important that he needed to leave without closing it. Even though I know I'm not allowed in there, I can't stop myself and push open the door to find the room the second best in the entire house. There are so many books that I've never read that I would love to read, mostly references like encyclopedias or journals. There's art on the walls from names I can barely pronounce, but what catches my attention isn't any of that.

No, what I see after all of that is the man sitting in the chair at the desk, that familiar face of my father that I haven't seen in months. His eyes are wide open, staring at me, slack-jawed as if he can't believe I disobeyed him and came into this room against his permission. But I can't speak because he won't speak. He can't speak ever again. I cover my mouth in horror and look away, squeezing my eyes shut. But nothing can erase the sight of that thick red stripe across his throat.


	12. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and review.

"Beck, what are you doing here?"

"Jade needs you."

My heart stops. Please tell me she isn't hurt. God, what if something happened to her while I was gone? Then again, she hadn't answered my texts or calls last night, and both Cat and Beck said they saw her last night and she was doing fine. Cat told me she'd gone home after a movie they had watched, and she had gotten a text from Jade saying she had made it home and even that was late last night, but…What if something happened after Jade got home? Why else would Beck be here, saying that Jade needs me? It wouldn't make sense otherwise.

Dad's phone rings and he goes toward the front lawn to answer it, far away enough that we can't hear what the conversation is about, and Mom and Trina carry the bags inside. Yeah, Trina's doing something helpful. The world's going to end. I look at Beck, and his eyes are pleading me to go with him. I nod and climb into the passenger seat of his truck, and he speeds toward Jade's house. There's yellow tape everywhere, and Cat's sitting on the curb with a sick Jade. She looks as though she's been up all night crying. She's a total mess.

I sit beside her, and she leans against me, my arms going around her while she cries into my shoulder. I've only seen her cry once in my life, but that was nothing compared to this mess in my arms. She's seriously torn up about something, and if there's yellow tape…Something bad happened. I stroke her hair and kiss the side of her head, murmuring something, _anything_ that might comfort her. Beck and Cat stand off to the side, talking about something, and I can't help but wonder if they know at all why Jade's destroyed. Why wasn't I called? Did this just happen?

A familiar car pulls up and Dad gets out, glancing at me before walking over to the other officers on the scene. They speak in hushed tones about what's going on, or what went on, and Cat and Beck leave Jade and me on the curb to go and talk to them. Jade pulls away from me long enough to be sick and I don't even complain when she automatically hugs me, her face buried in my chest as she continues crying. This isn't right. There's something seriously wrong. But I can't ask her about it, and I don't think she's going to let go of me anytime soon.

Beck notices that I want to know what happened, but he just shakes his head. Someone will tell me what happened later, but right now I don't care, as long as I'm here to comfort Jade. I need to be here for her because I've never seen her so broken in all the time that I've known her. I watch as Dad comes over to us. "Jade, do you want to come home with us?" Jade doesn't answer, but I feel her hold onto me tighter and I try to stand while carrying her weight in the process. Dad helps, but Jade flinches when he touches her, and I remember that not even Cat was touching her when Beck brought me here. She only wants me.

I glance apologetically at my father and he nods, leaving me to move Jade to the car on my own. It isn't like Jade's a dead weight; she actually is walking on her own, but she's leaning on me and it's making things a little difficult. She holds onto me like I'm going to disappear, and while I'm curious, I can't think about it too much. I need to make sure Jade's going to be fine, and right now I don't think she's going to be for a while. Dad drives home and I half-drag Jade up to my room to lie down. Normally when Jade's over, the bedroom door has to stay open, now that they know, but I think this is different. Once Jade's in my bed, I close my bedroom door and return to my bed, holding her while she cries into my chest.

This isn't like Jade. Usually she acts tough, like nothing in the world bothers her, but this is…She's really shaken. Did someone try to hurt her?

What feels like hours pass before Jade finally stops crying, and I realize she's asleep. She must not have slept all night last night, especially how she looked when I got to her house with Beck. I hold her close and murmur "I love you" into her hair before I drift off to sleep.

My obnoxious, ringing phone wakes me up and I groan, pushing _talk_. "Look, if this isn't important, I'm hanging up." Jade stirs next to me, her eyes red and swollen from crying for so long. She glances at the phone in confusion and I shrug.

"Is Jade alright?" It's Beck. Of course, it would be Beck, wondering how Jade is, since looking at the clock, I realize we've been sleeping for probably close to eight hours. I decide to calm his worried mind, examining Jade's face for confirmation or any sign that she isn't doing well. He deserves to know; he was the one to bring me to her and they're both still really good friends.

"She isn't crying anymore, and we had a pretty nice nap, so I'd say she's doing a little better. Do you want to talk to her?" Jade shakes her head and I frown. "Never mind, Beck, she's not in the talking mood. We'll call you back in the morning, alright? That way we can both get something to eat and just not worry about anything right now." And even though I sound like I know what's going on, I honestly don't and I'm pretty sure he knows that.

"Yeah, alright, I'll talk to you both then. Keep her close, Tori. She's going to be torn up for a while. It's not good when she's like that…She'll end up doing something stupid." I want to ask him what happened, but Jade might not like that, or it might upset her again, and she'd never stop crying. And the last thing I'd want is an upset Jade.

"I'll do my best." I hang up and set my phone on my bedside table. Jade is cuddled close to me, her face inches from mine, and she forces a weak smile. "Jade, I'm not going to…say anything…but I love you. And I'm not going anywhere. My parents aren't going to mind you staying here for…" And she bursts into tears. Shit, what did I say? "Jade, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…"

My door opens, and Trina pokes her head in. "God, will you guys keep it down? I'm trying to rehearse." She looks at Jade and frowns. "What'd you do to the girl, Tori? Did you beat her or something? I mean, you think I don't know about that mean streak of yours, but Dad _is_ a cop, and I don't think even that would save you if Jade charges you with abuse…"

"Trina, go away." Trina rolls her eyes but leaves anyway. I glance at Jade, who's giving me a watery smile, but it's so false. "Sometimes, I just think she does that to annoy the hell out of me." She just laughs an empty laugh and shakes her head. She isn't completely there, but I'll get her back. I'll figure out what's wrong and I'll make her happy again. There's a knock on my door, and I open my mouth to yell at Trina, but my mother in my doorway stops me before my voice reacts.

"Jade, honey, I talked to Cat's parents, and you're more than welcome to move in with them," she says. I stare at Mom, ready to make a comment, but Jade's hand is against my bare stomach under my shirt, and I can't say anything. Why would she be moving in with Cat? Why couldn't she just stay here? After all, she was _my_ girlfriend, not Cat's. This didn't make any sense. Jade nods and I watch as Mom leaves the room, wondering what the hell is going on.

"Why are you going to live with Cat?" I blurt out and she stares at me for a minute before burying her face in my chest. Her hand is still under my shirt, warm against my skin, and I'm hoping my mother didn't see it, considering we aren't under the blanket. But with Jade hiding, I know she doesn't want to talk about it, and I'm not going to force her to.


	13. Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and review.

_ He's dead. _

I can't shake the image of the man I had wanted to say something, _anything_ , to me, his throat…his eyes…his face…

My eyes snap open and I can't stop the tears as I roll over to face the other person in the bed. But it isn't Tori, the hair's too red and…What's Cat doing here? I don't remember leaving Tori's bed, let alone anything that involved Cat. I realize Cat's asleep, and her arm is around my waist, but it feels different than Vega's. Where the hell did Vega go? I sit up and search the room through tears, taking note of the familiar normalcy of the room. I'm still in Tori's room.

Cat mumbles something in her sleep, but I'm not paying attention, sliding out of bed and heading down the stairs. It's weird, the rest of the house seems to be built like Cat's, and I find Cat's brother sitting on the couch with Tori in the living room. My heart stops when I see his arm sneak around her shoulders and he pulls her in for a kiss, which she allows. "Tori, what are you doing?" I whisper.

She hears it and turns to face me. "What, did your girlfriend kick you out of her bed again?" Wait, girlfriend? Cat's not my…Tori's my girlfriend. She laughs and cozies up to Cat's brother, turning away from me. What the fuck is going on? I touch Tori's shoulder and the entire room fades into a dark alley. Tori's standing a few feet away from me, her arms shredded up by scissors, and I think about that night when she came back and saved me.

"Tori, are you alright?" But she doesn't answer. She stares at me, confusion and fear etched on her face, and she looks around, as though she doesn't know where she is. There's someone running toward us, but the alley is so dark that I can't see anything except the girl in front of me, and I stand in front of her, in case someone is going to try and hurt her. When he comes closer, I realize it's Andre, and I frown. "Andre? What are you doing here?"

He doesn't speak, but when his hand swings forward and a blade slices across my throat, I scream. _"Jade! Jade, wake up!"_ My eyes open and I'm staring up into Tori Vega's brown eyes, in her bedroom, in her bed. It was all a fucking _dream_. But it felt so real. She kisses me, holding me close, and she's muttering things into my hair. I'm not paying any attention to that, though. I'm just glad that she's here and that none of it is real. But what did it _mean_? "Are you alright, Jade? You were thrashing around in your sleep like something was going on, and then you screamed."

I nod and sit up, trying to piece together the dream. I want to know what it means, but I can't tell Tori. She would worry about it and then she'd ask me a bunch of questions. I can't even pull myself together to tell her that my father died. I wonder if anyone else has told her yet. "I just…it was just a bad dream. I think I've watched way too many horror movies in my life," I lie.

She seems to accept it, nodding in agreement. "I think you have too. Are you…?" She frowns. "How are you feeling?" About yesterday…I know it's in her question. Does she know? "You were pretty shaken up or something, Jade, and I don't know…I just…I don't want to cross any lines and make you think that I'm doing it on purpose. No one will tell me what happened, and I don't want to bother you about it because you still seem pretty torn up about it. Beck said you would be for a while. Is there anything I can do?"

And she speaks in that uncertain, helpful way that she always has when she wants to be there for someone. I used to hate it, but now…it sort of makes me feel better. I sigh. "Tori, look, the day before yesterday…my father…" She frowns, but I know she gets it. Something happened to my father. I fight back the tears. "I can't…I can't talk about it right now."

She nods and pulls me closer to her, my head buried in her chest, and murmurs into my hair. "Jade, why can't you stay here? Why are they making you live with Cat?" I shrug. Honestly, I don't know, but I think it has something to do with the fact that Tori and I are dating, and Cat's my best friend. What if something happened and Tori and I were to break up? That would be awkward as hell, living under the same roof.

Besides, and it's not that I don't enjoy Tori's company because I do, it's just that I do need a break from her, and I barely hang out with Cat anymore. Aside from the girl driving me completely mad with her craziness…That dream was really weird. I don't know why I keep thinking about it, but seriously…what could it possibly mean?

I try to push it away. Maybe I'm just really messed up after what happened. I mean, I cried for hours, which is something I _never_ do, and in front of Tori. I've been vulnerable and Tori hasn't tried to hurt me at all, which is something I thought would have happened by now. She's had plenty of chances to ask what happened, to badger me with questions and demand that I tell her what's wrong with me, but she's been almost careful, concerned, and I don't know why. After all I've ever done to her in the past, she isn't like everyone else.

I guess the only reason Cat and Beck haven't asked is because they already know, but they've also been checking in periodically, or I assume they have. I know Beck called earlier, but I couldn't talk to him, not while I'm like this. I slip one hand under Tori's shirt to rest against her warm skin, finding comfort there. When she doesn't comment or complain, I kiss her neck and drift back to sleep.

BREAK

I wake up later to find the bed empty, and for a full five seconds I panic, until I hear Tori's voice on the other side of her bedroom door. From what I can hear, she's talking to Beck, explaining that I'm asleep, and that I'm fine. I wonder if Cat's called as many times as Beck has, or if they're together and talking to Vega at the same time. I hear her say _goodbye_ before the bedroom door opens and she steps into the room, her eyes meeting mine.

"You haven't been awake long, have you?" And she has that genuine worry written all over her face. Under normal circumstances it would be cute, but this isn't the time to be thinking about how cute my girlfriend is. I shake my head, and she sighs, as if she was afraid of leaving me alone for so long while I'm awake. "That was Beck. He just wondered how you were doing, so I told him you were asleep. I was gone maybe five minutes."

I nod and force a small smile. "It's okay, Vega, you don't have to be so damn worried about me. I'll be fine." She frowns but nods anyway. That means Beck must have told her not to leave me alone. God, when is that boy going to get it through his head that I'm not going to do anything stupid? Maybe I can try to calm her down. "Hey, Vega, come here…" She looks at me with uncertainty. "Just come here, Tori…"

She hesitates, but soon she's walking around the bed to my side, and in one movement, I pull her down onto the bed and kiss her. "Jade…" What is she so afraid of? I'm not trying to do anything; I just want her to be close to me so she'll stop worrying.

There's a knock on the bedroom door before it opens. I don't care who it is. I'm in the middle of something. Unfortunately, Trina doesn't seem to think it's all that important. "God, would you two get a room…Never mind. Tori, can I borrow that shirt that you wore a few weeks ago?" Tori stares at her, while I glare, and the older Vega girl rolls her eyes and backs out of the room. "Fine, you two get back to your little…whatever you want to call it."

Sometimes I wonder if anyone would care if I crack her skull with a lead pipe and drop her body in the ocean…


	14. Funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, damasc, for reviewing. I appreciate it. 
> 
> Please enjoy and leave a review.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"What other choice do I have?"

Vega emerges from her bathroom, dressed in all black, and sits next to me on the bed, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her waist, holding her close to me. "Jade, no one would blame you if you didn't want to go. I know…I know he was your father, but he never…"

"He never cared about me. I know, Vega, I just _need_ to go. Sure, I hated the guy, but after what happened…I need to be there. God, I was in the house when it happened. They could have easily come upstairs if they had known I was home, and I left my door open and everything. I just…What if I had gone downstairs? You'd be having a funeral for _me_."

She frowns. "You can't think like that, Jade. I've almost lost you once. I don't want to think about it again." I kiss the top of her head to assure her that she won't have to, and we sit there in silence for another few minutes. The funeral won't start without me and I'm not going to rush to for a man who cared little to nothing about me. Eventually Vega's pulling me by the hand downstairs to her car and the car is as silent as it's ever been while she drives.

The funeral home chapel is nearly empty when we arrive. Beck, Cat, and her parents are waiting outside the doors for us, and I know they're not here for my father. They're here for me and I'm fine with that. They're the closest people in my life and the only ones I truly care about. And Cat's parents knew my father for years. No one hugs me; they know I don't want to be comforted, even though Tori keeps fidgeting at my side, her hand squeezing mine every few minutes.

It's been a week since my father was killed, and I've moved in with Cat and her family. They were nice enough to let me stay the night at Vega's house last night so that we could come here together and because I needed her more than anyone else. They're fine with me dating Tori, or at least they haven't said anything against it, which I take as a good sign that they're okay with us being together.

The nightmares haven't stopped. In every single one of them, Andre kills me, and I don't know why. Am I supposed to watch out for Andre? Is he going to murder me? Or am I just imagining that the one person who absolutely despises me would be the killer? Speaking of Andre, I haven't seen him at school lately and the boy _never_ misses, even when he's sick. Something's going on with him. Maybe I should have Beck talk to him and find out what it is.

Tori's hand squeezes mine again and it pulls me out of my thoughts. I realize we're still standing outside and everyone's staring at me with concern, as if I'm going to lose my mind any minute and go ballistic. And I just might, if the right thought pops into my head. I look at Beck and he takes the hint, leading everyone inside. Vega doesn't move, her eyes on me, while everyone leaves us alone. "Are you really alright, Jade? You seem out of it."

I shrug. "I'm just thinking. Come on…Let's go inside and get this over with. I'm tired with all the depression." She nods and pulls me close and I just let her hold me. A part of me doesn't want to go in there, but another part says I have to. I have to go in there and face my father's death.

Tori's hand is warm when it slips into mine, her fingers squeezing mine as we walk inside the chapel. If I had any other family, they might be here. But my father made enemies of them all, constantly locked in his study. I know how they felt, always shut out. Of course, if they _had_ come, Tori and I wouldn't have been able to be comfortable, not like this.

Vega walks all the way to the front of pews with me before she looks at me and I nod. Silently, I know she'll be right here waiting for me, but I have to do this on my own. I let go of her hand and step forward, slowly approaching the casket.

My father is pale in death, cold white hands folded at his chest, and I almost stop breathing. He isn't the man I remember, the cold and distant look in his now-closed eyes I assume is gone, and I notice that his throat looks clean and untouched. And seeing that covered up brings back the perfectly clear memory of when I found him. I swallow the foul memory and touch the ring on his right ring finger, the green stone something I have never seen before. But I know what it was.

And honestly, I don't think he's fit to wear that ring, not with that stone.

I almost feel like ripping it off of his finger and throwing it at him, screaming that he never cared about me, that he's _nothing_ to me, but I can't. I can't do that here, not when the only people here are the ones who _do_ care about me. I feel a hand on my shoulder, but it's not Vega's. This hand is bigger and stronger than hers. Before I know it, I'm crying into Beck's chest, wanting nothing more than to leave.

But I can't.

I didn't come here for nothing, and I'll be damned if I leave without saying something. Beck just holds me, like he used to, while I cry, and I hate that he isn't Tori, but I don't say it out loud. He knows. Vega knows. Even Cat knows. I can't see anything aside from the black of his shirt, but we're walking. He lets go of me so I can sit beside Vega, and she wraps her arm around my waist.

The pastor speaks about my father, as if he knew him, but that's a lie. He never let anyone know him after he changed, and Cat's parents were around before the change. Cat's my best friend and the only friend to have ever seen him before he became a cold, cruel shell of a man and she's always been there ever since that day.

"Would anyone like to speak about Mr. West?" the pastor asks, and Vega turns her head to look at me, but I'm already on my feet. The religious man watches me, surprisingly without judgment, considering my _girlfriend_ was holding me. He steps away from the pedestal and I take his place.

"Usually people say nice things about the person who died, but honestly, there's very little _nice_ to say about my father. The man in that casket, the one who looks so _serene_ , was actually one of the worst people I've ever known. Every single day, month after month, year after year, he was locked away in his study, ignoring the fact that he even had a daughter who had to take care of herself. Until the day he was killed…I came home from Beck's and there was a note on the counter, saying that he was going to get dinner for the two of us.

"He wasn't always so heartless. I remember when I was a kid, he was actually a real father. He wanted me to follow him into business, but I didn't want to do that. I knew that business turned people into selfish fools who were full of greed and just didn't care. He ignored me when I refused his offer to join him, and he's ignored me ever since. He hated a lot of things about me, especially the fact that I wanted to be what he called _a waste of time._

"My father was nothing to me, and honestly, he still isn't." I take a deep breath and my eyes meet the pastor's. "If he was such a great man, why is no one here to speak for him? These people are here for me…not him." I step away from the pedestal and settle in the front pew next to Vega. The pastor begins another speech, but I'm done listening. I want nothing else to do with my father, and as soon as he's buried in the ground, that's it.

BREAK

Vega and I walk back to her car after the burial and I stop her before she gets in her car. She looks at me, sadness in her eyes, and I want to tell her to stop. But I can't. "Look, Vega, I never told you…Thank you for being there for me lately." She opens her mouth to speak, but I shake my head. "I know what you're going to say. You're my girlfriend and you're supposed to be. But you didn't have to be. You only knew what I told you about my father and you've only seen him twice in your life, aside from today."

Tori nods. "Yeah, but that's why I was here, Jade. I _wanted_ to be here for you. I love you, and I wasn't going to let you go through it alone." I smile. "Do you have to go home? Would Cat's parents mind if you came over and spent the night again? Just tonight?"

I shrug and glance at Cat's parents, who are standing by their van twenty feet away from us. I ask them silently with my eyes, and they both nod, waving to me before leaving. "You have me for the night, Vega, but I'm going to have to go home in the morning." She smiles and kisses me before sliding into the driver seat while I walk around the car to the passenger seat.

I'll figure things out later, but for now…I'm going to enjoy a quiet night with Tori Vega and an empty house.


	15. Night Alone and the Morning After

"You're such a sap."

"I am not!"

I'm lying in Vega's bed with her head on my chest and my arm around her waist. Her hand is playing with the hem of my shirt, and I'm drawing circles on the skin between her shirt and her pajama bottoms. Some cheesy romance movie is playing on her TV, and I hate to say it… "If you're not a sap, why are you crying?"

She lies!

"I'm not a damn sap. I just hate that no one's died yet. I mean, seriously, is there _any_ romance movie that's got at least one death in it? Does everyone have to be so damn happy and lovey dovey or something?"

She grins and pokes my stomach. "You're still crying. It means you're not as cold as you try to be." I roll my eyes. I tried to be tough around her but come on…the girl's got me weaker than I should be. I want to say it's ridiculous, but for her I'll let it slide. She kisses my neck. "You're a sap," she says in a singsong voice, and I roll my eyes.

"You'll find no such sap here, Vega. You're sadly mistaken and I think you should have your brain checked." She feigns hurt and I laugh, kissing her. "I'm far from romantic, and I laugh at those who are. Seriously, you don't need that stuff for a relationship."

And…I've lost her. Vega's kisses are gentle, but her hands are another story. And I'm pretty sure she was aiming to be a vampire with that bite she just left on my neck. Her mouth finds mine and I'm determined not to zone out on her now, especially now that her hands are wandering. There goes my shirt…I try to pull Tori's off, but she slaps my hands away. Okay, we're going to do this her way.

Her mouth moves, leaving kisses and nibbles that send chills down my spine, and this time there's no interruption. Trina and the parent Vegas were out of town _again_ and wouldn't return until tomorrow night.

Where'd my jeans go?

BREAK

I wake up early the next morning, Tori half-laying on me with her arms around my waist. I kiss the top of her head and glance at the alarm clock next to the bed. It's only six, and there's no way I'm going anywhere right now, except maybe downstairs to make some coffee and maybe some breakfast. But how do I do this without waking up the girl who's so close to me right now she might as well be attached?

Vega mutters something in her sleep and her grip on me tightens, and I can't breathe. It's like she can read my mind or something and she knows I want to get out of bed. I think I would actually be in a world of trouble if she knew what I was thinking sometimes. But then again, maybe she wouldn't get mad at me when I zone out, right? Nah, that's horrible logic. I shouldn't be zoning out on my girlfriend at all, but I can't help it sometimes. Hell, I could probably stare at her all day, she's beautiful…Wait. No, I'm not a sap. I refuse to use words like that.

But she is.

I wonder if it's possible to destroy one's subconscious. Make it impossible for people to zone out…Which I'm doing right now. Damn it. I'm supposed to be trying to find a way out of this bed and out of the arms of a sleeping Vega who thinks I'm going to disappear or something.

My cell phone rings, and I almost jump out of my skin. Vega mutters something and reaches for the device. The only thing that catches my eye before she throws it is Beck's name flashing on the screen and she rolls away from me. I glance at her naked back before sighing and sliding out of bed. I hurry through getting dressed and pick up my phone, dialing Beck as I slip from the room. "Why are you calling me at six in the morning?"

"Andre showed up this morning, Jade. He looked like he'd been in a fight, but he refused to go to the hospital. I didn't know what else to do, but I was hoping you or Tori knew what was up with him." Andre was in a fight? It wouldn't surprise me, not after the nightmares I've been having. There's a pause. "Are you still at Tori's?"

"Neither of us has heard from him or seen him for days. You know he would never talk to me, even if he had to, Beck. And yes, I'm still at Vega's. I _was_ enjoying a very nice dream that you so rudely interrupted."

He chuckles. "Yeah, I'm sorry about calling so early." Like hell he is. "Did you and Tori have a good night?" There's a hint of amusement in his voice and I know he suspects Vega and I _finally_ managed to not be interrupted. I growl and he laughs. "I'm just messing with you, Jade. I know it's none of my business." He's serious again. "Okay, look, I'm going to go find Andre and take him to the hospital. I'll let you and Tori know what happens."

I hang up abruptly, but he's used to it. I glance through the doorway at the sleeping Vega and smile at the memory of last night before heading down to the kitchen. Remembering that the rest of the family isn't home, I turn the stereo on, which begins to play an upbeat tune that I haven't heard in years.

My smile fades as I remember the last time I heard this song. It had been in a restaurant that my father had taken my mother and me for my eighth birthday, and my mother had sung the song to me. I think back to the funeral, to that damned ring on my father's finger. He had gotten it when I was so young that I can't remember where or when, but the green stone…It was me. He actually did care enough about me, that at one point he bought a ring with a jade stone. And seeing it on his finger while he lay there dead…I don't think he deserves it.

I turn on the coffee maker and lean against the counter, staring at the piano in the living room. I don't remember ever hearing or seeing Vega play it, only Andre. As if on cue, the beautiful half-Latina girl comes down the stairs, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and yawning. She's so cute…ugh, why do I keep saying that? Once she reaches the edge of the kitchen, she finally looks at me and smiles, wrapping her arms around my waist. "Why are you up so early?"

"Beck called and said that Andre showed up, looking as though he'd been in a fight. He asked if we knew anything that was going on with him and I told him neither of us did. So, he's going to try and find him and take him to the hospital."

She nods and kisses me before crossing the kitchen to the fridge. "What do you want for breakfast?" Apparently, she's unfazed by the Andre situation. Or she's not fully awake and doesn't comprehend what I just said.

Either way, I'm not going to let it bother breakfast.


	16. What Just Happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and leave a review.

"So, what happened?"

"Something's going on with Andre."

Cat sets my lamp on the bedside table. "Well, we all know that, Jade. I meant, what did Beck say about it? You said he called." She reached for something in the box she was unpacking. "Uh, where do you want me to put this?" I shrug and she sets it on the bookshelf. "You have some weird…things…"

I smirk. "You're just now figuring this out? I thought we were best friends." I roll my eyes. "Anyway, Beck called this morning and said that Andre showed up at his house, something about he might have been in a fight. He was going to track Andre down and take him to the hospital, even though Andre doesn't want to go." I set the empty box on the floor near the door. "I don't know, it's not like Andre to get into a fight. He isn't a fighter at all."

"You don't think…" I know she thinks the same thing I do, but before she gets a chance to say it, her brother pokes his head into the room.

"Mom and Dad are headed out. They said they'll be back later tonight and if we get hungry to order a pizza." He glances at me and smiles. My eyes wander to the beginning of a black eye, but I don't say anything. "Hey, Jade, glad you're moving in with us." I smile and nod and he turns to his sister. "I'm leaving for a couple of hours. Will you two be alright?"

Cat rolls her eyes. "Yeah, we'll be fine without a babysitter." He looks at me one more time before turning to leave and I notice his hand for the first time. His knuckles are bruised and cracked open but healing. He couldn't hurt a fly, so I wonder how that happened. Once he's gone, Cat looks at me. "He came home this morning looking like that. I tried to ask him how it happened, but he just shook his head and told me not to mention it, that he was robbed."

I frown. "Cat, you don't think…you don't think he got into a fight with Andre, do you? I mean, it can't be a coincidence that both of them are hurt, right?" I hope Cat's brother didn't fight Andre, but I wouldn't doubt it at this point. My cell phone rings, and I roll my eyes, answering. "We were just talking about you…sort of. Did you find Andre?"

"Yeah, he didn't get too far. I found him sitting in a bar. Don't…even ask because I'm not sure why he was there. We're at the hospital now. Do you want to talk to him yourself and find out what's been going on with him? Maybe Tori can talk to him or something…"

"She isn't with me, but Cat and I can pick her up on the way. I have a theory I want to run by you as well…"

BREAK

I sit in the waiting room, Beck on one side, Cat on the other, and stare at random people waiting. Some of them give me dirty looks, but come on, what do you look at in a waiting room full of people? You can't tell me that you haven't once stared at someone else, whether it was to figure out why they were there or just because they were interesting to look at. Cat and I told Beck our theory about Cat's brother once we got here, after Tori had gone in the back to visit Andre. We figure if anyone can get anything out of him, it would be his own best friend.

Beck glances toward the door to the ER every few minutes, waiting for Tori to come out so he can go in, and honestly, I expected that minute a half an hour ago. "Maybe he's actually talking to her," I tell him, even though I don't believe it. He's probably asleep and she can't bring herself to leave him without talking to him first. She's always been like that, too nice to leave someone, even if they treated her like shit just for dating someone they didn't like.

"Do you really think that he was in a fight with your brother?" Beck asks Cat and she shrugs. She's not too sure either, but she can't deny that that's what it looked like. Before he can ask anything else, there's shouting from within the emergency room and he looks at me. We're both wondering the same thing; Andre might be awake. Tori emerges from behind the doors and comes to us, pulling me to my feet.

"Come on, let's go. We're not wanted here." She turns to Beck. "Go talk to him or something. We're going to get out of here." I slip my fingers between hers as she all but drags me out of the hospital and try to stop her. "Jade, I don't want to be here, not when he's being like this. Can we just go?"

"Okay, first, Cat drove us here so unless you want to walk, we're not going anywhere far." I wrap one arm around her waist to keep her from running and cup her cheek with my free hand, so she'll look at me. "What did Andre say to you, Tori?" She shakes her head and averts her eyes. "Tori…please, you can tell me." I don't get my answer, but I don't push it. I lean in for a kiss, but she turns her head. My head falls on her shoulder instead and I sigh, letting go of her. "I'm sorry. I'll just…I'll get Cat so we can go."

I don't have to go far. Cat's exiting the waiting room, stopping only for the water fountain. She stares at me for a minute before she finally speaks. "What's wrong with Tori? You're all sad now." I shrug and head outside, Cat close behind. Tori's already across the parking lot at Cat's car, waiting for us.

"I don't know what's wrong, Cat. We came out here and she won't tell me what Andre said to her. She wouldn't even let me kiss her. I don't know if it's something I did or something I didn't do, but it kind of hurts that she's like this." Cat nods and we're silent before we reach Tori. I watch her while Cat unlocks the car, but she doesn't even glance in my direction. I take the backseat, forcing Tori to take shotgun, since she refuses to sit near me.

Cat jumps into some random monologue that I'm just not in the mood for and Tori and I both ignore her. I stare out the window, waiting to be back at Cat's house. Vega speaks up. "Drop me off at my house." It's almost a whisper, but it catches my attention. Why would she want to go home? Cat notices and nods, shooting me a look in the rearview mirror.

"Why don't you come and hang out with us?" I ask her, but she just shakes her head and sinks in the seat. "Tori, seriously, what's wrong?"

"Stop asking me!" she shouts, and it makes me recoil. This isn't the Tori I know and love. This is someone else entirely. "It's none of your business, so just leave me alone about it."

Cat and I stare at her in shock. "I think it _is_ my business if you won't talk to me. I'm sort of your girlfriend, Tori. If something's bothering you, I want to know. And if it's me, I definitely want to know. I care about you…"

She turns in her seat and glares at me. "I'm tired of you bothering me about this, Jade. Just let it go or go away." Cat pulled into the Vega driveway and Tori got out of the car, slamming the door behind her. The rest of the drive to Cat's house is in silence and I don't even talk to her as I go to my room and close the door. I want to be alone, away from everyone, including Cat.

What did I do to make Tori act like this?


	17. Assumptions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and leave a review.

"Why are you here?"

"I want the truth."

Andre rolls his eyes and looks away from me, and I can see every single mark on his face. Beck was right; he really did get into a fight and he's not making this easy. Part of me wants to punch him and demand that he tells me what's up now, but another part of me just wants to leave. Whatever he said to Tori has been bugging me ever since Tori started acting different. "Just leave me alone, Jade."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what you said to Tori. Who did you get in a fight with?"

He shakes his head. "None of that is any of your damn business and I'm not telling you anything. What I said to Tori? You have no right to know. You don't belong with her, Jade. She's my best friend and you're taking her from me, and you shouldn't be. You never should have even bothered with her. All you ever do is hurt people and you don't even care."

"So, you told her she shouldn't be with me? You honestly think I don't already know she shouldn't be? Try again. She wouldn't be this upset over just that."

I glare at him, but he just shakes his head again and looks away. He's really going to push me, isn't he? "You know something, Jade? I don't have to tell anything. I could always call for security to come and kick you out." He wouldn't. When he realizes that I'm not going anywhere, he shrugs. "Fine, you really want to know? I told her that I'm never going to talk to her again as long as she's with you. She's dead to me. It's wrong, Jade, you and her together. And no, it's not just because it's you, but because you're a girl."

"You homophobic bastard…"

He laughs. "Call me what you want. It doesn't hurt me any. You made her like this, Jade. If it wasn't for you and whatever you did to her, she would have said yes to me. But no, you took her and turned her into this…" He smirks, but he knows damn well not to use words. "It makes me sick."

I clench my fist. "She never would have said yes to you, Andre. She doesn't like you that way. And you never showed interest in her before. Did you really think that just because you, her best friend, chose to tell her you wanted to ask her out, that she would jump at the opportunity? Did you think she would leave me for you?" I shake my head. "You're fucked up if you think that. Honestly, I would be glad for her if she found someone else, if she told me that she didn't want me anymore. Would it hurt me? Yeah, it would. It would be like ripping out my heart and stepping on it. But if she had ever said yes to you, I wouldn't have forgiven her."

"You're a hypocrite. You want her, but you don't want her? What kind of logic is that?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you." I turn on my heel and leave the room, heading for the elevator. Tori didn't want to talk to me because Andre told her it was wrong to be with a girl. He's her best friend and she listens to him. And who am I to her? I _was_ her girlfriend. But now, if she listens to him, I'm as good as dead to her.

I text Cat and let her know that I'm on my way home. There's nothing else I can do, since Tori's acting the way she is, which I now know is definitely because of what Andre said. I freeze before unlocking my car. Tori had told Beck to talk to Andre. What had Andre told him? I dial Beck's number and wait while it rings. "Hey, Jade, I'm in the middle of something—"

"When you're done, come over to Cat's. It's important." I hang up without his response and head home to the Valentine house. The first thing I notice is Trina's car parked in the driveway and my heart skips a beat. Turning off my car and heading inside after locking my doors, I find Trina in my bedroom. Why the hell Cat or her parents let her in my room is beyond me. She's examining things on my bookshelf. "Can I help you?" She turns and before I can even blink, her fist connects with my eye and I'm so caught off-guard I can't even react. "What the fuck, Trina?"

"What did you do to my sister? She cried her eyes out all afternoon yesterday and last night and she won't even come out of her room this morning. Did you hurt her? Because I swear to God—"

"You already showed me." I press around my eye and wince. Yeah, it'll probably be bruised. "Look, if you had waited to do that, you'd understand that _I_ did nothing. It was all Andre." She raises her brow in confusion. "He told her that she was dead to him as long as she was with me. So, I guess she's been staying away from me or we broke up or something. I don't know. She won't talk to me."

Trina crosses her arms and sighs. "I'm sorry for punching you in the eye then, if what you're saying is true. I don't think Andre would say that, though. That isn't like him."

I shrug. "Yeah, well, Andre hasn't exactly been the happy best friend he used to be since Tori and I started dating. I just didn't think that he would go this far to destroy both his friendship with her and her relationship with me. It doesn't make any sense." I sit on the edge of my bed and look at her. "I just came back from talking to him and Beck's coming soon. Can you try to…can you get Tori to call me or something? Try to knock some sense into her or tell her that Andre doesn't matter anymore?"

She nods slowly. "I'll see what I can do."

BREAK

"What did Andre say to you when Tori told you to go and talk to him?"

"Jade…"

"I'm serious, Beck. I already went and talked to him so I'm sure whatever he told you won't be worse than what he told me." I'm so furious right now, still at the fact that Andre said what he said and because Beck isn't telling me what _he_ was told. "Did he give you some speech about how Tori should not be with me, mostly because I'm a _girl_?"

He shrugs. "Yeah, he did, but he also brought up some things about us, about you and me and what happened back when I was attacked. Jade, I think he's caught up in the gang." I stare at him. "Think about it. He got into a fight that's pretty much put him into the hospital. The way he's acting around you and especially Tori. Come on, Jade, he's never acted like that around Tori, not even this whole time you've been dating her. He's been missing a lot lately. What else could it be?"

"Why would he be involved with them?" If he is, then he told her something else no one's going to tell me. History's going to repeat itself. "Beck, what else did he say? And don't say 'nothing' because I know he did."

He sighs and scratches the back of his neck. "He told Tori…" He looks away and I know exactly what he's going to say.

And I swear to God if someone hurts her, I'll kill them.


	18. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trying to finish Legend, I had a dream about how it will end so that'll probably be written as soon as I can get it down, and then I'll try to write the next chapter. 
> 
> As for this one, please enjoy and leave a review.

"Open the door."

"Go away."

But she doesn't. Trina's still knocking on my door, trying to get me to come out, but I don't feel like it. After all, what Jade and I are doing is wrong. I know I walked into my relationship with her without caring about what others thought about us, but I never thought that my own best friend would be one of the ones against us. I guess I should have seen it coming when he tried to convince me that Jade was going to hurt me, but Andre's hurting me a lot worse than she ever could.

The only thing is that that isn't the full reason why I'm locked in my room, ignoring my phone and my family, or why I told Cat to drive me home instead of going to her house to be with Jade, like I want to be doing. And it's killing me that I'm doing this to Jade, but I have to. I don't want to see her hurt. But I know I'm hurting her just by staying away, by ignoring her.

Andre told me to stay away from her, to end what I have with her, or she would suffer until she was wishing for death. What was I supposed to do? I wanted her to run with me, to go somewhere else where we could be safe because she's right, just because my dad's a cop doesn't mean that will stop someone from doing something. And even if I told my father what was going on…What could he do?

According to Jade, all the gang members were arrested once before when she went to the cops and some of them got out and _still_ followed the order to hurt Beck. What if that happens again and Jade doesn't come out of it alive? It would be my fault. And Andre would be the one to do it, I'm sure.

There's another knock on my door and Trina's voice. "Tori, damn it, open this door. I know why you're not talking to Jade and honestly that's a stupid reason. Screw Andre and his opinions. If you care about Jade, you shouldn't worry about what he says. It's none of his business what you two do or how you feel about each other."

"And it's none of yours because you really don't know why I'm staying away from Jade. It's not something you need to worry about." And it isn't. She would just go to Dad about it and it would end badly. Even if she told Dad, it would fall back on me and still be my fault because this is something I have to deal with, not her, and not anyone else.

"Are you in danger?"

If she only knew how close to the truth she is. I don't answer that. "Look, Trina, just go away. Tell Jade to get over me, to just forget it. Tell her I'm not doing this to hurt her." Hopefully Jade will understand. If she doesn't, this isn't going to get better. Trina slams her fist on the door one last time, and I flinch. I don't like this anymore than her or Jade, but I have no other choice. Just because Jade was the reason that I was hurt that night, that doesn't mean I'm going to be the reason she gets hurt this time. That was just an act of stupidity, and let's face it, if I hadn't gone with her, she could have ended up dead. And it would have been my fault if I hadn't tried to stop her.

That wasn't even a random attack. The guy knew who she was and was in the gang that wants Jade to suffer, the one that attacked Beck.

Something strikes me as odd, though. Jade was in the house when her father was killed. Any normal killer would have searched the house to get rid of witnesses. Perhaps it was because no one physically saw them kill Mr. West or because that was all they were there to do, or because Jade hadn't made a sound or let them know she was there. Maybe it was a deal gone wrong, that the killer just wanted money from him. Or maybe…Maybe that was to make Jade break. Maybe that was done to make her suffer, to show that they had no problem killing anyone close to her.

Jade can deny it all she wants, even at the man's funeral, but I know it broke something in her. He may not have cared about her at all, but he was still her father. And knowing that he would never be there, even to demonize, hurt her. With that thought, maybe Jade was meant to suffer. And something else…That was right about when Andre began disappearing.

Shit.

BREAK

I stare at my phone, reading the text over and over. Tori wants me to move on, to get over her. But now I know why. Or at least, I have my suspicions. And if what Beck says is true, she's doing this for me when she shouldn't. I can take care of myself. I glance over my shoulder at Beck, who's sitting against my headboard, and sigh. "This needs to stop, Beck. We have to do something about this before Andre or anyone else hurts her more."

He shrugs. "What do you think we should do? Get Tori to run away with you, go somewhere that's safe for both of you? Telling someone isn't going to help, especially Tori's father."

I nod. "I know that. They would kill him the instant we told him. And that would put Tori in even more danger." He jumps off my bed and pulls me against him in a hug before I can start pacing. I don't want Tori to get hurt and that's exactly what will happen, no matter what we do. "The only thing I can think of is to get them to back off."

Beck shakes his head. "Jade, we can't do that. They still blame you and chances are _he_ 's out there." He pulls away from me. "Just because we broke up, that doesn't mean I don't care about you. And I'll be damned if you do what he wants you to do."

"I _have_ to. There's nothing else I can do."

He grabs my shoulders. "Yes, there is. There has to be something, anything else that you can do. Just run away with Tori. Get out of here and away from anyone and everyone that can hurt you." I push him away and leave the room, grabbing my car keys off of the kitchen counter. I can hear Beck chasing me as I rush out to my car, but I need to do this. There's no other solution. "Don't do this, Jade!" he shouts after me as I back out of the driveway.

I ignore him, heading in the direction of Tori's house. Before anything, I need to talk to Tori, to get her to understand that I'm not going anywhere, that I'm going to fix this before it gets worse. Trina answers the front door before I even reach it and the look on her face tells me that Tori's still not coming out of her room. I hurry up the stairs and slam my fist on Tori's bedroom door three times. "Come on, Tori! Open the door! I need to talk to you!"

"Go away, Jade!"

Like hell I will. I kick the door in and stare at her, taking in the shocked expression. "I know what he said to you. And I'm not going anywhere. If you're not going to listen to Trina or me or anyone else, then you've lost because we're trying to help you. You ignoring me, that's just going to make this worse, and they'd hurt me whether you do or not. They have a grudge against me, one that's lasted for two years, and I don't think it's ever going away until I answer to them. So, before you think you're protecting me, believe me when I say you're not. They already tried to kill me once before you were ever _anything_ to me."

"Jade, there's something else before you go into a long rant about why what I'm doing is wrong." I frown in confusion. What else did Andre say to her? "I don't think your father was killed just because. I think it had something to do with you. If someone had a grudge against him…they would have taken everything down with him, including you."

"So, you're saying…"

"I think someone killed your father to make you suffer." I don't care about him. Whoever did it was sadly mistaken in thinking that _that_ would hurt me at all. The only reason I even broke down the way I did was because I was the one who found him in the most gruesome way. "You can pretend he was nothing to you all you want, Jade, but I know he was. He _was_ your father."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything. It could have been that he was an asshole, and someone wanted him dead for money. It happens all the time, Tori."

She frowns and her eyes finally meet mine. "I think Andre killed him."


	19. Explanations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and leave a review.

"Wait…"

"It makes sense."

"You're telling me that you think Andre was the one to kill my father?" Tori nods. "Why? What good would that do? He knew my father was nothing to me. If anything, if he _did_ kill him, he did me a favor." I frown and sit on Tori's bed, trying to keep my guard up, trying to keep myself from touching her in any way. She had spent the past day ignoring me, trying to stay away from me, and I was doing just that; I was staying away from her.

That's what's so hard about us. The only reason we've been able to stop ourselves with anything is because we've always been interrupted, or there was something that had to be done that we _had_ to stop. And I may as well be sitting on my hands right now because I want _so_ badly to hold her. "Jade…even if it didn't really faze you, it was still done. And I really do think that Andre was the one who committed the crime."

My eyes meet hers. "That's a really serious accusation, Tori. And as much as I wouldn't put it past him at this point, if you're wrong…"

She shakes her head. "I've thought about if I was wrong, but that would be only a twenty percent chance. Andre's been weird lately. You can't deny that fact because we both know it's true. And he suddenly shows up after being in a fight and telling me that you're going to suffer unless I end things…Nothing else makes sense." She crosses her arms and stares at my face, frowning, and the concern is so obvious. "What happened to your eye, Jade? Please tell me you didn't go get into a fight…"

I chuckle and shake my head. "No, I promise you I didn't get into a fight. This…This is courtesy of Trina on account that she thought I was the reason for you being locked up in your room sulking. She _did_ say she would hurt me if I hurt you."

Tori sighs. "She shouldn't have done that. Now people who know we're dating are going to think I'm abusing you…" She's almost smiling. Good, I'm glad she finds this amusing. Then again, she's right. I don't think people would believe innocent Tori Vega would have been able to leave a mark on me, though.

"Yeah, let me tell you, Tori. Along with the rest of the world, I don't think you could hurt a fly. Face it, you've been hurt _by_ a fly…" To which she protests. "Okay, maybe that's a little too mean. As for you going to prison for alleged domestic abuse or something? I'd say even the cops would laugh at that one." I smirk to let her know I'm teasing, but that amused smile is gone, replaced by the adorable pout of hers. And God, I _really_ want to kiss her right now.

She slaps my shoulder and the contact _burns_ , even though it only lasts for a second. "You're so mean, Jade." I give her my best puppy dog eyes. "That's not going to work…" But it is. And I know I need to stop, but damn it, I don't want to. She sighs and sits on the bed, enough room between us that Trina could sit there, and I have to ball my fists to keep from reaching for her. "What's going to happen to us?" she murmurs, and I turn my head to look at her, unsure if I should respond. "Why is it that nothing can be easy with us? There's always someone or something standing in the way."

"We sort of let it happen, don't you think? And this…with Andre…You're letting it hurt us, Tori." She stares at her lap and I frown. "It isn't your fault. I know the games they play, you don't. And what Andre said to you is more about him than it is about you. Andre just doesn't like me and he's trying to make you the same way. It's how he is."

"Jade, he's never been like this before. He's always seemed like the open type, the one who doesn't judge or hate."

I bite my tongue, looking at the wall. She isn't going to like what I'm about to say, but she needs the truth. "Because he's your best friend…or was…I don't know how you see him at the moment, and right now, that isn't important. He used to be a decent guy two years ago. Like I said, when Beck got hurt, he's hated me since. But before…Before, we were friends. It was always Beck, Andre, Cat, and me against the world. Even Robbie was one of us, I guess, but I'm not fond of him so he's never important in anything I claim.

"Anyway, back when we were friends, there was this guy who always wanted to be around Andre, but Andre was a bit mean toward him, and no one knew why. One day I sat down with the guy, the one that followed Andre, and asked him why he wanted to be around Andre so much because he was beginning to annoy the hell out of us. I thought he just couldn't get a hint that we didn't want him around." I pause and glance at her for a second before returning my eyes to the wall. "He broke down completely.

"I don't know how to deal with crying girls, let alone guys, so I just sat there and waited for him to finish or something. When he finally did, he looked at me and said, 'I'm in love with Andre'. And I almost hit him, but I was just caught off-guard that I didn't know what to say. He went on, telling me that he was sorry that it seemed like he was bothering us at the same time, but all he really wanted was to be with Andre.

"I told him to keep trying, that maybe Andre would come around and he could be happy. The next day at school, he announced his feelings for Andre in front of everyone. Andre was so angry that he hit the kid and told him that he was worthless, that what he was doing was wrong. Even though no one expected that from Andre, they still laughed. And that boy was so humiliated that I felt sympathy for him."

Tori takes a breath, and I realize she's scooted a little closer. "Who was the guy?"

And it feels like someone is squeezing my heart because she doesn't know. Just remembering is difficult, knowing that it was because of her best friend, my old friend. "You don't know him. Or maybe you've heard of him in passing. What Andre said got to him. All the boy ever wanted was to be with Andre and he was holding onto this impossible hope that Andre would be his. But when Andre turned on him like that, in front of everyone, he had nothing left. His home life was shit, everyone else treated him like shit, especially after Andre did that, so what else was there for him? A few days later, the boy made a decision. I was the only person in his life that had ever showed compassion, who had even looked at him twice without being mean or demeaning, and so he told me something I would never forget."

I stop, the words becoming unbearable on my tongue, and stand, walking away from the bed. I can hear Tori stand behind me, but I can't look at her. I know I'm going to tell her, but it's hard to. How do you tell someone that their best friend was the reason someone ended their life? I feel her hand on my arm and it _burns_ so much. "Jade…"

I take a breath. "He told me 'When you love someone, you give them everything. When they destroy it, they've destroyed you. When they've done that, what else is there to live for?' I didn't think he was going to…I tried to tell him that I would help him, that we could try to make things better, but he just shook his head and left. He was _crushed_ , Tori. Andre may not have pulled the trigger, but he was why the gun went off."

I try to fight my tears, remembering the gunshot and running to find the body of someone who could have been my friend, blood everywhere. And I can't stop myself, turning and collapsing into Tori, taking us both to the floor. She holds me while I cry, trying to shove the memories from my mind.


	20. Get Over It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and review.

"Did you guys make up?"

"Leave us alone."

Trina frowns and holds up her hands in defense, as if I had raised my hand to her or something. Yeah, like she would worry about me hitting her after she gave me a black eye. Is she serious? Even though I _should_ hit her back since it was a false accusation. I lean back against the couch and cross my arms, trying to avoid eye contact with Tori. "You know, Dad's going to be pissed about your bedroom door, Tori—" Vega shoots her sister a glare. "You know what? Act like children. I'm just trying to get you two to realize that you need to be together and this bullshit with Andre means nothing, if you both care about each other. And don't say you don't because I know you do. So, cry a river and build a bridge and get over it. Or whatever."

We stare at our laps while she stomps upstairs, her shoes pounding against each step. God, does she know she's annoying? But she has a point. Even though she doesn't know half of the reason Tori and I are being like this, we're acting like kids about it. It's not like we're having a fight or anything, we're just not resolving anything like we should be.

I glance at the girl beside me and frown. As much as I want to pull her close to me and hold her, to tell her that everything's going to be alright, even though I'm not sure it will be, I can't. We're both hurting each other by doing and not doing, and it's taking its toll. I open my mouth to speak, but she beats me to it. "Do you want to break up?"

And it's the second time she's asked me, although last time was because we were fighting, and we weren't really going to break up. But now, it has to be done. "I think we have to," I mutter, and I hate my voice, I hate those five words right now. I turn my head to look at her and she nods slowly. I don't want this to happen, but there's nothing else we can do. I stand and pull her to her feet, kissing her one last time because there's nothing left to do. I'm not going to leave without that final kiss, and she knows it. Before we both give in and do something that would make this even harder, I pull away from her and leave without looking back.

BREAK

I pick at the salad in front of me with a fork. I've barely eaten this week, or last week, and I'm tired of Beck's lectures about how eating is important and I'm going to blow away in the wind if I don't eat. But I don't care. And speaking of the devil, Beck sits next to me at the table and grabs the fork out of my hand with one hand, cupping my chin with the other and turning my face to his. "I know you love her, Jade, but it's been two weeks. You and I are friends again, just go back to being friends with her."

I shake my head. "It isn't that simple, Beck. This isn't you and me." It pains me that I was with him for three years and our break-up was nothing like this. Yeah, I got mad at him and went and set Vega's garden on fire, but that was because he broke up with me. And technically Tori broke up with me, but it wasn't the same. When she did, it was because we knew we had to.

He sighs and releases my chin. "You need to talk to her. At least _try_ , Jade."

"Look, it's best for both of us if we just stay away from each other. It's safer right now." It's safer if Andre knows we're apart. Maybe he'll finally leave Tori alone and I can deal with the gang on my own. After all, _I_ 'm the reason they've threatened her. _I_ have to be the one to finish this. I hear raised voices coming from the other end of the Asphalt Café and ignore them.

Until I hear hers.

My head snaps up and I look for her, where she's arguing with Andre. Shit. This can't be good. Beck's hand grabs my shoulder, holding me down, and I glare at him. "I'll stop it. Just sit here and finish your lunch." As much as I hate to, I obey, grabbing my fork. I pretend to eat my salad, spitting it out as soon as he leaves me alone, and grab my backpack, following him. The voices get louder and I can hear Trina getting into it as well.

"Damn it, Andre, she has a right to date whoever the fuck she wants to!" Trina snaps.

"Stay out of it, Trina! This isn't any of your damn business!" Tori shouts. She turns back to Andre. "You need to leave me alone, Andre. If you _really_ must know, Jade and I broke up. We're not getting back together. So, you know what? You win. Just leave me, and her, the fuck alone."

Andre's fist connects with Tori's jaw before anyone can stop him, and I fight myself from running in and killing him. Beck grabs his best friend's arm while Trina helps Tori sit up, both girls in shock. "Back off, Beck, this isn't any of your business."

"I think it _is_ if you're going around hitting girls, Andre. What's your problem with her anyway? She broke up with Jade, like you wanted her to." I watch as Tori staggers to her feet and grabs Andre's other arm, punching him hard in the face. And _damn_ , I have never seen Tori that pissed off. "Tori, why'd you do that?" Beck asks, trying to hold Andre back. Andre shoves him to the side, and I'm rooted where I stand as Andre tackles Tori, clearly not caring that she's a girl as he punches her in the side of the head. Beck groans and grabs Andre's shoulders, yanking him away from Tori. "Come on, man. You’re a fucking idiot." Beck drags Andre away and I wait until they're completely gone to come out from where I was hiding.

Trina's examining her sister's face when I reach them, and the younger Vega sister stares at me, blinking. How fucking hard did Andre hit her? "What in the hell were you thinking, Vega?" I growl, kneeling beside the two of them and reaching out, touching her jaw. She winces and I frown, trying to keep my emotions in check. "Trina, go ahead and go back to class or whatever. I'll take Tori to the nurse." Trina doesn't even argue, leaving us alone in the hallway.

"Jade, why are you here?" Tori asks quietly, as if talking hurts.

I shake my head and wrap her arm around my neck, pulling her with me as I stand. After dating her and being in close proximity, I'm used to her weight as she leans against me. I try not to pay attention to the contact between us, in fear that I'll kiss her or never let go, as I walk with her to the infirmary. Passing the nurse and ignoring her questions, I help Tori sit on the closest bed. When I'm sure she's at least somewhat comfortable and won't fall asleep or pass out or anything, I finally address the nurse. "She was in a fight, but I don't know how badly she was hurt. I know her jaw hurts and probably the side of her face." The nurse nods and I kneel in front of Tori where she sits on the bed. "I'm going back to class. Do you think you'll be okay here?" She nods slowly, wincing, and I kiss her forehead before leaving for class.

I'd hate to leave her there, especially when I don't know if he really hurt her, but it's not good for either of us. Besides, I have some business to deal with.


	21. Let's Pretend For Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and leave a review.

"I'm going to kill him."

"Calm down…"

I turn on my heel and glare at Cat. "Don't you dare tell me to calm down, Cat, you weren't there. He _hit_ her. She could have a concussion and it's because of that bastard. I couldn't stop it because I didn't want to give him any lingering reasons to believe that Tori and I didn't break up."

Cat frowns and tilts her head. "But you guys didn't—" I clamp my hand over her mouth and shake my head. "Okay, so you broke up. What does it matter to Andre if you're together or not? Why is he being such an asshole about this?" I shrug and lean against the wall of the janitor's closet. This is usually mine and Tori's spot, but that won't happen anymore, not for a while.

I check my phone out of habit and frown when I notice a text message that I wasn't expecting, and I didn't hear my phone beep when I received it. I open it and glance at Cat. "I'm going to miss the rest of classes. See you at home?" She nods and I open the door, stepping into the hall and heading for the parking lot. Beck grabs my arms before I can leave the hallway and I shake my head, pulling my arm out of his grasp. "I'm not going after Andre, Beck, I promise."

"I don't trust that you'll leave him alone, Jade. I know how you feel right now, and it won't be good for anyone if you don't just leave it alone."

I glare at him. "For your information, I'm going straight home. Would you like to follow me to make sure?" He sighs and I roll my eyes, heading for my car. Opening the driver's side door, I slide into the seat and back out of the parking spot, driving home. Once I'm parked in the driveway, I glance around as inconspicuously as possible before leaving my car. Cat's brother is sitting on the couch in the living room when I enter through the front door, and he glances up at me, smiling. I notice his hand is wrapped in gauze and wonder what the hell he did this time, but knowing him, it was just something stupid. "What do you want?"

He shrugs. "I'm bored and I figured you wouldn't be opposed to skipping school to hang out—"

"Any other day, I would have been happy to, but Andre picked a fight with Tori today, and I'm worrying about her. He hit her in the head pretty hard and she didn't seem entirely alright when I left her with the nurse."

He frowns. "Yeah, I heard about that. She, uh, she called me." I raise my brow, and someone clears their throat from the kitchen. My head snaps around to look in that direction and I find Tori leaning against the wall, staring at me. Cat's brother smiles and stands, clapping my shoulder as he passes me for the stairs. "Try to keep it quiet and civil." I watch him climb the stairs and disappear on the second flight before turning my gaze to Tori, and she crosses the room, sitting on the couch.

I sit beside her, examining her face as she flips through channels on the TV, and she rolls her eyes. "You don't have to worry about me, Jade. I'm alright now, thanks to some ice and aspirin." Doesn't she realize that I'm never going to stop worrying about her, especially after she goes and fights with Andre?

"He could have seriously hurt you, Tori." She stares at me and nods, assuring me that she's well aware of that fact. Why is she being so damn stubborn about this, acting as though she could care less if she gets hurt? She takes my hand in both of hers and plays with my rings, her eyes still locked with mine. "This isn't over," I whisper, and she shrugs.

"I'm doing this so that _you_ don't get hurt, Jade. They have problems with you, and I'm trying to keep you out of their grasp for as long as I can. As for Andre, he's never going to win, now that I know what he's done and what he keeps doing. He's doing the same thing to us that you told me he did to that boy, and I'm going to make sure that was the end of it. I'm handling this on my own. I can't let you be hurt."

I pull my hand from hers and shake my head. "This is _my_ problem, Tori. I dragged you into it and I need to fix it myself. And I'll be damned if I let Andre touch you again." She takes my hand again, this time wrapping my arm around her waist and cuddling into my side. It's as though we never broke up, but I know we're pretending. What we have, it can't end. And I'll fight to the bitter end to make sure we don't fall apart.

She kisses my cheek and rests her head against my shoulder, and we finally turn our attention to the TV to watch some lame movie that I'm glad they play while we're in school so we don't have to suffer through it when we can't find anything else to watch.

Whatever comes our way, we're going to have to be ready for it.

BREAK

I wake up to someone shaking my shoulder and groan, trying to roll over. I find it impossible to, realizing I'm lying in someone's arms, and I open my eyes slowly, glancing up at Cat, who's kneeling next to the couch, shaking my shoulder. "Did they get the scissors out of the fire?" I ask drowsily, and Cat raises her brow, confused. I shake my head and glance over my shoulder, noticing Tori directly behind me, her arm wrapped tight around my waist. I remember that we fell asleep on the couch and search for the clock about the TV. We've been lying here for four hours, comfortable together.

"Jade…what is Tori doing here? I thought the point of trying to keep Andre in the dark was that you guys weren't going to be together at all."

"Relax, Cat. Andre isn't going to find out about this. Besides, it _seriously_ is none of his business what goes on between Tori and me." I pry Tori's arm from around my waist, but the girl has me in a death grip. God, when she wants to hold me, she means it. "Obviously Tori isn't going anywhere right now, so call her parents and tell them that Tori's over here for the night. I'd call them, but then they'd think that we're back together and I can't have Trina thinking that, otherwise Andre will find out." Technically Tori and I aren't really together, but if we can do this, if we can be together, then I'm fine with being broken up. But we can never go back to being just friends.

Cat shrugs and goes upstairs to her room, leaving Tori and me alone on the couch. "Is she gone?" a voice mutters close to my ear, sending shivers shooting down my spine. I nod and turn to face Tori, kissing her. "You know we can't do this all the time, Jade. They'll get suspicious."

I frown and sigh. "You think I don't know that? I just, I don't want to deal with reality right now, Tori." I don't want to do this right now, argue with her, make her feel like she's better off anywhere else than here with me. I don't know why we can't just have a normal relationship, why something has to stand in the way. If it isn't Andre, it's the gang, or it's something else. There's _always_ going to be something. And yeah, I know it's normal or whatever, but it's overwhelming sometimes when we have to protect our relationship more than actually have one.

I seriously hate thinking.


	22. Commit Murder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and review.

"We'll be back later."

"Stay here."

Yeah, like Tori and I would go anywhere together as long as Andre's around. We nod and watch as Cat and her brother leave the house. Last night had been nice; Tori stayed the night and was even allowed to sleep in my bed…after we promised Cat's parents that all we would do was sleep. And we did.

I have to admit, waking up with Tori is seriously one of my favorite things. And no, it isn't because I get to occasionally see her naked and…do stuff. No, it's because waking up with Tori by my side feels right and because she's beautiful when she's asleep. I think everyone could agree, but if anyone else even thinks they have that chance, I'll punch them in the face.

Yet, both of us have to realize that we're not together. We can't be. But since Andre's never going to realize that Tori and I are cuddling on the couch and watching some horror movie that I honestly and surprisingly don't even care about…We just won't pay attention to what's happened in the past. Seriously, would you want to say that you're not in a relationship with not only the most beautiful Latin girl you've ever seen, but the one girl in the world that has succeeded in completely ripping your heart from your chest so that it's hers? I'd say you're insane if you said you would.

I'm not making any fucking sense anymore.

I have to say that, in a way, I'm glad we're not avoiding each other in this break-up. We did for two weeks and it pushed me into some unresponsive zombie that couldn't even eat without thinking about her. And the fact that it's completely different than when Beck broke up with me makes it feel more real between us, like we can't be apart. But then again, Beck and I have become really close friends. I don't even see him the same way, which benefits both of us. That makes it less awkward between us, and we're both definitely cool with that.

You know what, fuck reality. Nothing good ever really comes from it because everyone knows that good things come to an end. And it's total bullshit. Why can't we be eternally happy with someone? Why does something always have to come along and wreak havoc on a perfectly good thing? It doesn't make sense, unless it's fate that everyone is fucked. Yeah, I know we're all going to die one day, but do some of us really have to be miserable for the majority of our lives?

But dreams and hopes and thoughts just don't last.

Tori's hand slips into mine and she smiles, pulling me to my feet and toward the stairs. Her eyes stay with mine as she leads me up the stairs to my room and locks the door once we're in. Suddenly, my back is against the door, her mouth latched onto my neck, and I have no intention of stopping this. Her hands find mine and she pins them to the door, not that I was planning on pushing her away or anything. She's trying to stay in control, and I'm going to let her because this is about her. After everything with Andre and our break-up, I'm not going to deny her anything.

Her lips claim mine as she backs up, pulling me to the bed. She pulls me down flush against her, and I pull my hands from hers, moving one hand between us to slip under her shirt, the other tangling itself in her hair as I kiss her neck. Her skin is warm against my palm as I move my hand upward, exposing more skin when I finally pull her shirt over her head. Her hands are cold on my lower back once my own shirt is off and I shiver, earning a smirk from her. She leans up to capture my lips again and pushes me onto my back, my hands resting on her hips. The next few moments are a blur because she knows exactly what her hands are doing and where they're going. And I can't keep a solid thought in my head, every logic sentence breaking, and there's nothing but her because she's pulling just the _right_ strings.

She kisses me, and her hands are _somewhere_ , doing amazing things to me, and I swear she's trying to kill me. But knowing me, I'd be fine with her being the murderer, dragging her knife through my veins, sending that incredible pain searing through me. And with one last kiss, everything explodes, and she's smiling against my lips. She's committed her murder.

But she's not getting away with it.

BREAK

A loud knock jerks me out of dreamland and I groan, rolling away from Tori. I'm almost sorry that I do, instantly missing her being in my arms because she's getting up to answer the door, taking the blanket with her. Cat's voice isn't quiet, and she damn sure isn't happy. Apparently, Tori had promised her parents that she was going to be home three hours ago, and if I'm right, we weren't asleep three hours ago.

Tori's frustrated, closing the door and hurrying around the room to find her clothes, and all I can do is watch, admiring her body _before_ she covers herself with random articles of clothing, half of which are mine. I smirk and she knows without even looking at me, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "What's so funny? I'm going to be grounded for lying to my parents."

I shrug. "Well, you'll be in even more trouble, considering you told them you were staying away from me, which, by the way, is obviously untrue when you're wearing my shirt."

She glances down and growls in irritation, yanking it over her head. At least I earned myself an extra minute of a topless Tori, and when she realizes it, she throws my shirt at me. "You saw enough of me earlier."

I shrug. "Yeah, but earlier we were kind of busy doing other things. Did you expect me to stop and stare for a good amount of time?" She points her finger at me before grabbing my brush and untangling her hair. When someone says, "you're cute when you're angry", they have absolutely no idea. It's really not something I see often, but when Tori's in a bad mood, she's adorable. Granted, it's not the best idea to try and joke or anything because she'll rip your head off, but she's still…eh, you get the idea.

I slip out of bed and grab her wrist, pulling her to me. I just want her to calm down and breathe for a minute. Who cares if I'm naked? "Jade, I have to go…"

I cup her cheek and kiss her. The Vega family can wait; I want just a minute more with Tori, and if they have a problem with that…Well, they don't know, do they? She can just say that she fell asleep or something. Technically, it isn't a lie. "Before you go and kill yourself trying to get home in a hurry, calm down." She nods and I rest my forehead against hers. "I love you, Tori. Ignore Andre and anyone who says otherwise because the only person that matters to me is you and you need to know that."

She smiles and kisses me one final time. "I love you too." I watch as she exits my room, closing the door behind her, and start pulling my clothes on. And honestly, I hope she does still love me because odds are going to be against us.


	23. Leave Her Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and leave a review.

"I'm grounded."

"That's your fault."

There's a huff of annoyance on the other end of the phone and I smirk. Tori's at school, where I would be, had Beck not told me he couldn't find Andre. And since we couldn't be seen together anyway, she was using Beck's phone to call me. "You're part of that blame, Jade. If you hadn't been doing things…" to which I hear a groan from Beck in the background, "…I probably would have remembered when I told my parents I would be home."

"Yes, but it's your fault because you were the one to drag me up to my bedroom and take advantage of me." I can barely say it with a straight face, and I can only imagine the look on hers when she hears it.

"Oh, _I_ took advantage of _you_?" Beck snorts in amusement. "You weren't complaining when I was…" The rest of her sentence is muffled, and I know Beck is covering her mouth. They argue for a moment before Tori finally growls. "Why aren't you here anyway?"

"Oh, you know, I felt sick this morning," I lie easily, but she can see right through it.

"Jade…" I don't know why she has to know me so well that even my acting isn't so great when I'm talking to her. God, am I really that obvious or does she just know that's the lamest excuse I have ever come up with? Yeah, that's probably it.

"What does it matter? We're not together as far as anyone knows at school and I hate not being able to kiss you or hold your hand. So, I just didn't go." Even though it's most of the reason, and she knows there's more, she isn't going to pressure me to answer. "Go to class and call me at lunch or something." Before I can say anything else, the line is dead, and I sigh, muttering an "I love you" to myself. I hate being away from Tori, but there isn't much we can do about it, except the obvious.

I have to find Andre.

I hear the front door open and close downstairs, indicating the departure of Mrs. Valentine. Cat's brother and father both left earlier this morning before Cat did, and I honestly don't know if any of them, aside from Cat, know that I didn't go to school. I find my answer when I drag myself to the kitchen and find a note on the counter. Cat's parents will be out tonight instead of coming home from work, so I don't have to worry about them coming home to find me gone.

I roll my eyes as I heat up breakfast that I didn't even know was made. I guess they all assumed that I _am_ actually sick, or they just didn't want to bother me. I've already planned my morning to search for Andre and find his ass so I can kill him for hurting Tori, and Beck had to have known that when he told me that he didn't know where Andre was. He knows why I'm skipping school, and by now I wouldn't be surprised if Tori figured it out.

I grab my keys and head outside to my car, opening my door and sliding into the driver seat. Before I can start the ignition, my phone beeps with a text from Andre. He wants me to meet him somewhere I haven't been in a long time, and that can only mean one thing: This isn't going to end well. I sigh and start my car, back out of the driveway, and drive toward the darker side of town. In the distance I can see the mental hospital, that stupid place that started this. There's a bar, where they don't give a fuck about age, and neither do the cops, and I find Andre easily in the nearly empty place.

I sit across from him at a table and cross my arms. "You need to stop with this shit, Andre. Tori and I broke up. So why are you still harassing us?"

"I don't believe you two broke up." He takes a drink and stares at me. I wait for him to continue. "I'll leave Tori alone, on one condition. All you have to do is what you were supposed to do in the beginning. Do that and Tori lives her life without any problems, and we'll be done with you. Unless you and Tori get back together or stop pretending or whatever the fuck you're doing. It's sick and I'm not going to stand by and watch you corrupt her anymore."

I stand. "Just leave her the fuck alone. She's done nothing wrong, and I'm the one who owes." I glare at him. "Why are you even doing this, Andre? You're supposed to be her best friend, not her enemy." I pause. "It isn't a secret that you hate me because you think I'll hurt Tori after I let Beck get hurt, but honestly, I'm not the one hurting her. You are."

"I'm doing what I'm supposed to, Jade, what's right. I'm keeping you away from Tori."

I turn away from him as the door to the bar opens, and I freeze where I stand. "Sit down, West." I obey and keep my eyes locked with his. "So, I heard you left that boy of yours for a girl." I don't say anything. I just want to get this over with and leave. "You're a little demon, aren't you? You can't stop destroying everything around you." I glance at Andre. Either it goes unnoticed or he just doesn't care. "Well, that's fine, it gives us more reason to kill you."

"What if I decided to do what you wanted me to do last time?" He raises a brow and I swallow. "I just want this to end, and if this is the only way Tori can survive, then I'll do it." And I hate the fact that _this_ is the only way to fix everything, destroying everything in the process. "I don't care about me, but please, leave Tori alone. Let her live her life and stay away from her."

He narrows his eyes, and I look at Andre, whose eyes are glued to his glass. "You're either brave or stupid." I turn again, and the gang leader crosses his arms. I choose the latter, of being stupid because having to do something that will ultimately ruin everything is definitely not brave. That's being a fool. "You have twelve hours. When you're ready, notify me."

With that, he leaves me alone with Andre, who, after a few silent minutes, grabs my wrist and slips a pistol into my hand. Without so much as a word, he leaves, and I realize his glass is still half full. Picking it up, I spare a glance toward the bartender and down the rest of the vodka, wincing at the taste.

Tori's life is in my hands and she's not going to want to be with me after this. Hell, she's not even going to want to _know_ me. This is going to kill me. Or worse.

Fuck.

I drive home, ignoring the weird buzzing in my head, and it doesn't even cross my mind that I shouldn't be driving after consuming alcohol. I'm sorry if I have a million other fucking thoughts on my mind to even care about my safety or someone else's right now. The only person I give a damn about right now is Tori and how I'm going to get her out of this mess. That's _all_ that matters to me.

The house is still empty when I open the front door, and I wonder how long Cat's brother is going to be gone. Ignoring everything else, I hurry upstairs and lock myself in my bedroom, setting the pistol on my bed. Staring at it, I try to form a plan, thinking about when to do this. I have to do it while Tori's at school. That way she won't know what happened until after the fact and she'll be safe. I stare at the wall, trying to remember something Tori had told me.

And now I know that I have to do this now.

I pick my phone from my pocket and dial a number I never thought I would have ever dialed again in my life. It rings six times before the other end is picked up. But before they can speak, I say the words I've been dreading. "I'm ready."


	24. You Didn't

"Something isn't right."

"Calm down."

I glare at Beck and stab my salad with a fork, pressing redial on his phone. Jade isn't picking up, which isn't like her, especially since she told me to call her at lunch. Where in the hell would she possibly be to miss my calls. "Beck, she told me to call. She's never ignored my call before." Something unfamiliar flashes in his eyes and I realize that he knows exactly what Jade's doing. "Where is she?"

He sighs and shakes his head. "She went looking for Andre. I told her I had no idea where he was, and she skipped school so that she could find him." Running a hand through his hair, he took his phone out of my hand. "Calm down. She'll call you back when she gets a chance, Tori." And I hope to hell he's right because if Jade is in trouble, I'm going to kill someone.

"Why did you even bother telling her that you didn't know where he was? You knew she would go after him, and what if she gets hurt? Did you even think about that, Beck? Do you even care?" I don't think he does, otherwise he wouldn't have said anything about it.

"Of course, I care about her, Tori. She's my best friend, my ex-girlfriend, and she's your girlfriend. Do you really think that I don't think she can take care of herself, that I probably directed her to her own death? It's _Jade_ , for God's sake. She knows what she's doing. And you shouldn't worry about her."

Cat grabs his wrist and they share a glance, conversing in silence. I don't know what it is between them, but they've been close lately. Before I can ask them, Trina comes running to our table, and I'm about to tell her to go away, but her panicked expression shuts me up. "Tori, we have to go. Mom just called. Something's wrong at home."

"What? What happened?" And the only thing I can think of is that the house caught on fire or something. Maybe the garden wasn't enough for Jade's flames. She doesn't say anything else, just grabs my wrist and begins dragging me toward the parking lot. I glance behind me, and Cat and Beck join us. I thought Trina's driving was horrible before, but now we're narrowly missing cars as we pass them, Trina swerving in and out of traffic. "Are you going to tell us what happened?"

She glances in the rearview mirror, catching sight of Beck and Cat for the first time, but she doesn't comment on them being here. "Mom called and said that something's going on at home. She mentioned Jade and Dad and that's all she told me. I swear, I don't know what's going on, Tori. She didn't tell me."

The cops are blocking our street, so Trina parks in the grass at the corner and we run toward our house, pushing through the crowd of nosy neighbors. And I hear a gunshot, my heart seizing in my chest. _Please don't let it be Dad or Jade…_

BREAK

I hold the pistol steady, my finger loose on the trigger. The man before me pleads for me to think about what I'm doing. And I am. I'm thinking clearly and if this is the way to save Tori, then I have to do it. "I'm sorry," I whisper, and I pull the trigger, sending a bullet straight through his right shoulder. He grunts in pain, falling to his knees, and holds his shoulder, trying to keep pressure on it. I turn away from him, shooting again, this time a bullet going through a skull on the other side of the room. Before anyone can react, I fire again, catching another skull, and a third, and my arm explodes in pain as I pull the trigger for the fifth time, killing my fourth victim.

The door opens and, fighting the searing pain, I release another bullet, taking my fifth and final victim before dropping the gun at my feet and falling to my knees. I don't know how long I'm kneeling before I'm being pulled to my feet, handcuffs being snapped around my wrists. I don't even struggle as I'm escorted out of the house, and the first person I see is _her_. She's being held back by two cops, and she's struggling in their grip, calling out to me.

There's nothing I can say to her to make this better, and once she sees the bodies inside, she'll never want to speak to me. As we near the police car, Tori breaks free and runs to me, throwing her arms around my neck as she cries, repeating my name. "Tori.” She looks at me and I can barely speak, but I manage. "What I've done, I did it because I love you. But you don't want me anymore. You won't after this."

She's confused. "Jade, what are you talking about?" Her eyes widen when she sees the blood and the hole in my arm. "You're hurt. Why aren't they helping you?"

My eyes lock with hers. She needs to understand what I did, what's happened here. "I ended it," I say flatly. "All of them. They're dead, Tori. Even Andre's dead." She frowns. "I killed them, every single one of them, and I shot your father." She lets go of me and for once I can't read her expression. It's somewhere between concern and disbelief, but there's no identifiable hatred or anger. She doesn't believe me.

The cops are trying to drag her away from me, but she refuses to go. "My father's a cop!" she points out. They exchange glances because they know she doesn't know. She won't fucking listen. "I just want to talk to her. Give us a minute." They reluctantly let go of her.

I shake my head. "You really don't want to, Tori. And I can't talk to you if you aren't going to listen to me. I'm trying to tell you what happened, and you need to believe it. You'll hate me and I'll deserve it because I'm not a good person—"

"Fuck you, Jade."

I stare at her, mostly in shock because she's never spoken to me like that. She needs to know the truth. "Tori, I'm being serious. Would I lie about something like this, considering I'm in handcuffs and being escorted out of a house that is now a crime scene? There are five dead bodies inside, all with a hole in the head, and your father, who's been shot in the shoulder by a pistol. If you don't believe me, wait until your father is brought out."

I can see Beck, Cat, and Trina across the street, Beck trying to calm Trina. Cat's eyes meet mine and I sigh, Tori's hand grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at her. "You wouldn't do any of that, Jade. I know you wouldn't. Please, tell me you're joking."

I wish I could say that this was all a joke, that I was trying to worry her to death, just so I could say "just kidding", but I'm not. I can't say any of that. I shrug. "If I could but I can't." And even though I'm expecting it, when she slaps me it shocks us both. I pause before I speak. "Tori, I'm sorry. If I didn't do it, they would hurt you."

"They didn't have to. You did that by yourself." I watch as she stomps away and the cop opens the door to the police car, pushing my head down as I slide into the backseat. And the last thought running through my head as Tori disappears from my sight is that she's never going to forgive me.


	25. Before and After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. The past few days have been kinda hectic. 
> 
> Please enjoy and review.

**3 Hours Earlier…**

" _I'm ready."_

 _My heart pounds as I push the_ end call _button and I stare at the pistol on my bed, running a hand through my hair. The only thing on my mind right now is Tori and how she's going to hate me when she finds out. Even though this is a task I was meant to do two years ago, before I even knew Tori. It's going to affect her even more now that we…I can't even finish a thought in my head without wanting to tear myself to shreds with my own scissors._

 _Andre texts me, reminding me that there_ will _be witnesses to make sure I do what I've promised to do. I wish I could just go to Hollywood Arts, grab Tori, and drive far, far away from here. We wouldn't have to watch our backs if the gang doesn't know where we are, but they would just replace us and go after our friends and Tori's family. Tori's positive Andre killed my father, and I don't doubt her accusation, but honestly…Andre seems like the last person I want to blame. I don't think he could actually kill someone with his own hand, but then again, I didn't think he'd ever hit Tori either._

_He's become something we never thought we'd have to deal with, especially Tori. She always thought he was this nice guy and of course she would have to believe it because he was her best friend. But I've known him all along. Beck's known him all along. And neither of us stopped Tori from wanting to be friends with him. That probably would have saved us all this trouble, but I guess it's the price we have to pay for not speaking up._

_Although, I don't think she would have listened to us even if we_ had _warned her. She sees the good in everyone, and it used to be so annoying. I could never figure out why she wanted to be everyone's friend, why she wanted to be friends with_ me. _I'm nothing special, but she went out of her way to make me like her. She put more effort into becoming my friend than she did with anyone else. Maybe that's because I was the only one that wasn't affected by that charm of hers, that puppy dog look that even tops_ Cat _'s._

_And I don't know how, but she managed to succeed. But things started changing and it affected everything. Beck broke up with me, I started a garden fire, Tori and I got into a fight with a gang member, and we kissed._

_If I make it out of this alive, I'm going to hate myself. Everything happens because of me. If I had just let go of the fact that Tori kissed me in the hospital and kept my mouth shut, she never would have been pulled into this mess, and we could have just gone in our separate ways and back to supposedly hating each other. But no, we couldn't do that because I was dumb enough to have fallen for her, and damn it if that didn't just make everything worse. She would have stayed friends with Andre, and I would have been left to deal with this on my own._

_Fuck it, it's too late now._

_Tori's safe at school right now, or at least I hope she is. Knowing Carlos, he has eyes on her, just to make sure she doesn't leave town or that I don't take her and run. Beck and Cat will keep her distracted, both of them knowing what I'm going to have to do._

BREAK

**1 Hour after Jade's Arrest**

I sit in the waiting room in the hospital emergency room with Trina and Mom and wait for news on Dad. Apparently Jade shot him in the shoulder and something deep inside tells me she did that on purpose. She didn't want to kill him. Why would she? Trina keeps muttering insults about Jade and how she never liked her. I want to hit her and tell her to stop, but right now I'm not in the best mood where Jade's concerned. It's hard to swallow that she would ever stoop to this.

Sighing, I lean back in the chair and glance around. There are five other people in the waiting room, all of them waiting for news of their loved ones, and I notice a small child curled in a ball on a chair next to her mother. From where I sit, I can see dried trails on her tiny cheeks, her eyes closed. My heart breaks at the sight of the little girl, and I wonder what brought her and her mother here. Was her father hurt, like mine? And once again I think of Jade, how her father had been killed and how it had broken her to pieces.

Even after what she did, I miss her by my side.

Beck comes into the waiting room and speaks to the receptionist. He nods politely before turning and searching for me. His eyes meet mine and he gestures toward the entrance. I excuse myself from Mom and Trina and stand, stretching before I follow him outside. He sits on the closest bench and glances up at me. "Jade called me." And I almost feel angry that she called him and not me, but then I remember that I don't have my phone. That and she probably felt that I don't want to talk to her after this.

He removes a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and hands it to me. My name is scribbled in Jade's handwriting across the top fold. "Beck…"

"Look, Tori, she wrote it for a reason. And she told me it was time to give it to you, now that she's done what she has. I understand why you're pissed off at her, believe me. I've been hurt by the same people she was protecting you from. That's why she did it, Tori. But please, just read what she has to say before you decide to demonize her." He pauses. "She's never cared about anyone as much as she cares about you."

With that, he leaves me alone, and I stare at the note in my hand. Part of me is afraid to open the letter, but another part of me needs to know what she wrote. I sigh and look around before slowly unfolding the paper.

_Tori,_

_By the time you read this, I'm going to be in jail or worse. I know I've told you I'm doing this to protect you, but you need to know why I'm protecting_ you _, why I'm doing something about it this time instead of when I was with Beck. Honestly, what I did…that wasn't a new task. They didn't suddenly want me to kill your father, Tori. They wanted me to do it back then._

 _Your father is the reason they were arrested back then. Well, he was the arresting officer anyway. I was the one who called the cops when they hurt Beck. Back then, I didn't know who you were, but I wasn't going to take a man's life, especially when he had a family. When I met you and that first time I ever saw who your father was…I felt sick to my stomach. I knew that the gang was still out there and that he was a_ huge _target._

_But then I knew who you were, and it became about you. I could barely go to your house when your father was home, knowing that taking his life was the only way to survive. And then we started dating and I couldn't—I couldn't face ever losing you, Tori._

_That night that we were attacked, I realized how serious dealing with the gang was. They_ hurt _you, and I could never let them do that again. And I thought I had kept you safe, even when Andre started treating you like shit. But when we found out he was in the gang…you were in danger, more than I could ever imagine._

_I had to do this. Please forgive me, Tori. I had no other choice. And no matter what happens…just know that I love you._

_Jade._


	26. Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and review.

"West!" I glance toward the bars of the cell from where I'm lying on my bed and frown. What the hell does the guard want? Almost as though she can read my mind, she rolls her eyes. "You have a visitor." I stare up at the bunk above me for a few seconds in confusion before finally rolling off the bed and approaching the bars, holding my arms through the slot. She slaps handcuffs on my wrists before opening the door and escorts me toward face-to-face visitation.

My heart stops when I see the brunette girl sitting on the other side of the glass, her usual smile turned downward in a heart-wrenching frown. Sitting across from her, I reluctantly take the receiver from the wall hook and watch as she does the same, her eyes avoiding mine. I can't speak, my throat attempting to swallow the lump that's formed, and I don't know whether I'm going to throw up or cry.

I've been incarcerated for three months. Ninety days I've gone without seeing her face, without speaking to her, without… "I can't do this, Jade." I stare at her in silence, her eyes full of sadness, even though they're looking at the surface in front of her, and my heart drops from my chest, allowing the steamroller that is pain flatten it. I want to ask her why she's here, if she can't be with me, if she can't bear to look at me, but I can't. My chest feels crushed, the air gone from my lungs like I've been hit hard and winded.

And I have been.

She twists her fingers on the surface in front of her, and I want to stop her, to hold her hands and keep her from being so upset, to kiss her and make everything better. But I can't. I'm stuck in here, on this side of the glass, where I can't hurt her anymore. She sighs. "I can't be without you." I frown in confusion, wondering if I'd heard her correctly. "I've tried. I told myself that I couldn't be _with_ you, that I hated you for what you did. But I couldn't listen to myself." She finally looks at me, her eyes watery, and I can tell that she's trying so hard not to break down and cry right now.

I swallow, the lump dislodged, and glance at my hands. "I can't hurt you anymore, Tori. You deserve so much better than me, and after what I did, I don't blame you for never wanting to see me again."

“Don’t tell me what I deserve, Jade. The only thing I don’t deserve is what you did,” she snaps. "I didn't want to see you again. I wanted to move on from you, to forget you after you shot my father, after you killed those gang members. I didn't want to come back to you and tell you that I love you. I wanted it to be a lie that I kept telling myself. But the only lie was that I don't." She leans forward, her eyes locked with mine. "My father and I had a long and very serious conversation about you, Jade. He's, well, he's not happy about this, but he's bailing you out."

My eyes widen in shock and I shake my head. If I'm not in here, if I'm _with_ Tori, I'll do nothing but hurt her. I can't allow that to happen. "No, Tori, listen. I deserve to be locked up in here, away from you. I shot your father. I killed five other people. I _belong_ in here. You can't just give me a free pass out of here and expect everything to be all right."

She shakes her head. "It isn't a free pass, believe me." I can't understand why she would be so willing to let me free. And how she convinced her father to let me walk out of this jail, I'll never know. I think it's better if I don't know.

Two days later I'm released. Even though this is something that I should be okay with, that I'm soon going to be able to hold Tori, I'm not happy. I'm so afraid that I'm going to disappoint her, that I'm going to hurt her, crush her, and make her never want to speak to me again. But she seems to think otherwise. And I don't know how to feel about that.

She's sitting on the hood of her car in the parking lot of the jail when I exit through the doors at six in the morning. I don't know why she would be here so early, why she isn't home sleeping, but when she hops off of the hood and wraps her arms around my neck, her lips on mine a dozen times before she finally buries her face in my neck, those questions are pushed from my mind and I just hold her as close as I can. Her heartbeat is slamming against her chest, the same way mine is, and that's all that matters to me right now.

The first place she takes me is the pancake restaurant near her house, and I've never loved a cup of coffee so much in my life. Between the caffeine and the rapidly decreasing ration of food on the plate, I've never been so happy in my life where food is concerned. She sits across the table from me, eating her own breakfast, and every so often, I catch her glancing at me. I flash an uncertain smile, which she returns without hesitation, and I'm aware how messed up we really are.

Her father is waiting for us when we enter the Vega house soon after, and Tori lets go of my hand before disappearing upstairs to her room. I'm unsure of whether or not I should sit, my eyes watching the man I shot. After a few silent moments, I sit on the couch and fold my hands in my lap, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry for what I did, but it was only to protect you and Tori, and I know that you may not see it like that. I don't blame you because that generally isn't the excuse of someone who shoots you in the shoulder."

He doesn't speak at first, instead sitting on the opposite couch and staring at the blank screen of the TV. I open my mouth to speak again, but he holds up his hand and shakes his head without so much as a glance in my direction. I can hear his breathing against the silence. "Tori begged for me to bail you out of jail, and honestly I don't know why I should have. I don't trust you anymore because all you've done is proven that you can't be trusted when you pulled the trigger. I don't want you to be anywhere around Tori." And I don't blame him. "But because she thinks that you're different, I can't force you to stay away from her or she'll resent me, and I'll lose my daughter."

He eyes me for a moment, as if I'm going to jump at him or something. I understand that he doesn't trust me, when I haven't had a chance to give him reason to. "I love her." It was spoken before I could stop myself and he frowns. "I don't know why she wants to be with me when I know she deserves so much better. But I love her."


	27. Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 3 more chapters after this.  
> Please enjoy and leave a review.

" _I love her."_

 _The silence is thick between us, and for thirty seconds I think I've gone deaf. Her father isn't surprised by my words, but he isn't thrilled. This isn't how I wanted the conversation to go. "This has nothing to do with Tori," he says quietly. "This is about you. If this was my decision, you wouldn't be sitting where you are right now. You wouldn't even be welcomed in this home." I nod. "But the only thing that_ is _up to me is what you do to redeem yourself. And it doesn't mean that I'll ever forgive you either."_

I stare at the ceiling and sigh. Three days have passed since I last spoke with Mr. Vega and two days since I've seen Tori. Cat is avoiding me, hiding in her bedroom whenever I come out of my room, which actually isn't very often. I feel imprisoned even in the house in which I live, but what can I do? The Valentines accepted me into their home, and I ended up in jail. Last time I checked, that wasn't the way to repay someone who has been kind.

Glancing at my alarm clock, I realize that it's nearly six in the morning and turn the alarm off before it rings. I'm nervous about going back to school, but I can't avoid everyone anymore. I have to face people, whether they hate me or not. I drag myself through getting ready, preparing myself for my impending doom.

When I park in the parking lot at school, a few kids glare at me, as if they hate that I'm there, and honestly, I don't doubt that that's exactly how they feel. Cat left earlier than I did this morning, probably so she wouldn't have to see me at all, but I don't know how she's going to avoid me in Sikowitz's class. Head down, I head toward the front doors of the school, people purposely hitting my shoulders as hard as they can. My locker has been tampered with _KILLER_ spray-painted over my scissors. But I ignore it, no matter how much I feel like sawing my heart out of my chest.

My hands shake as I take books from my locker and I can hear the whispering around me. _She killed them all. She's a murderer. She’s—_ My attention is caught on the tan hand that was now covering mine where it rested, frozen on my film appreciation textbook. My eyes trail from the fingers all the way up to the face of the person next to me, Tori's warm smile melting the ice around me. I swallow the lump in my throat and attempt to smile, but I can't. "Tori—” I mutter, but she shakes her head.

"Don't listen to them, Jade. They don't know why. They don't _need_ to know why." That doesn't exactly help the weight in my chest, or the knots in my stomach. She continues quietly. "You don't need them. You have me." I nod and she takes the textbook from my hand, slipping it into my backpack. "Come on, we're going to be late for class." She closes my locker door, slipping her left hand into right and pulling me toward whatever class we're supposed to be in right now. I've lost my mind, forgetting what classes I had in which order, and with Tori being so close to me, I don't think I can remember.

Tori's never been the one to say, "Fuck what everyone else thinks." That's _always_ been me. But I'm letting them in my head and it's scaring the fucking hell out of me. It's turning me into this scared little puppy dog that's running with its head low and its tail between its legs. And that's not who I am. She pulls me to the last row of chairs, behind the other students in the class. Our film appreciation class is the only class we have without Cat, Beck, or Robbie, but Andre used to be in this class.

And no one's going to forget that.

I notice for the first time that his picture is on the wall near the whiteboard, _In Loving Memory_ written on the wall above it. I can't help the fire ants as they gnaw my insides, my blood boiling, and before I can fight, I'm racing to the bathroom, just barely making it to a toilet before my stomach empties itself. As I fall to the floor, I curl into a ball and sob, Andre's face forcing itself behind my eyelids. Arms wrap around me and suddenly Tori's voice is in my ear, telling me to calm down, that it's all okay, and it's not. It's fucking not okay and it never will be. As long as I'm alive, I'm never going to be fine after this.

And that last thought engraves itself in my mind, the idea of ending my life forming because I'll always be haunted. I _can't_ live with that. I can't force myself to walk into school every day and see his face everywhere I go, see their eyes glaring at me as I pass. This was a hate and blame game that got out of hand. And it ended in a game over.

I hear the bell ring and I begin to wonder how long we've been sitting on the bathroom floor, but I don't think even Tori cares because she's holding me tighter than before, her face buried in my shoulder as though I'm going to disappear. And it strikes me that maybe she could hear every thought that runs through my head. But she can't. If she did, she would be yelling at me, telling me that it's not worth it, that I can get past this.

She would be wrong.

How do you get past the death of someone, something that was entirely your fault? You don't. There's no one to say that it isn't your fault, and if they do, they're just lying to make you feel like it isn't. But it's my fault. I pulled the trigger. He was involved in a gang and he had never tried to kill me. He was only _there_. And yet, I still saw him as a threat, and I killed him. I took his life and _fuck_ if I'm not guilty about it.

"Tori…" I croak, and she pulls her head back, her eyes meeting mine. She's been crying with me, tearstains obvious on her tan cheeks and knowing that I'm the reason she's been crying, knowing that I'm the one who's breaking her heart by being like this, it only makes things worse. I reach up and brush her tears away with my thumb. "Tori, I'm not worth—"

She shakes her head. "Come on, let's go to class." She pulls me to my feet, and we wash our faces in the sinks, drying them with cheap paper towels before we head to Sikowitz's class. And she ignores everyone who glares, everyone who whispers, holding her head high, as if she's proud of what I did. But I know she's not. I know this is killing her inside. I know she's pretending that this doesn't bother her, that she can look past it.

Cat and Beck are sitting together, conversing in hushed tones, and when they both glance in our direction, I know it's about me. But where Cat's face is cold, Beck's is expressionless, his brown eyes full of something I can't pinpoint. Tori's fingers squeeze mine as we sit, and I turn my attention to her. "Are you okay?" she asks softly, and I nod slightly. She smiles a little, letting me know that she's here for me, but I don't want her to be. I want her to be as far away from me as she can possibly be.

We leave directly after class and go to the park near Tori's house. The kids are in school, leaving it empty for us to enjoy our peace, which I'm glad for as I swing on the swing, Tori pushing me. Something nags at the back of my mind and I stare at my feet as Tori's hands touch my back, sending me slightly higher. I take a chance. "Why aren't you like the others, Tori? At school, why do you put yourself through all the hate?"

She's quiet for a moment, her hands pushing me again, but when she speaks, I almost jump off of the swing. "They don't bother me, Jade."

I roll my eyes. "That's bullshit, Tori. If that were true, you wouldn't have skipped school with me to come out here. Nor would you act like someone killed your puppy when you speak to someone." Her hands grip the swing when I return to her, and the sudden jerk of the swing nearly knocks me off. "They bother you, and you know they do. So why are you putting up with it?"

"Maybe I'm putting myself through this because I love you. Did you ever think of that? Did you even stop to think that I might be telling the truth?" She lets go of the swing and I stand, turning to face her. "Seriously, Jade, did you? I know you're depressed. I know you're guilty. But that doesn't change the fact that Andre's dead. He's never coming back. And acting like maybe if you're sorry enough for doing what you did, that isn't going to bring him back. So, get over it, okay? I'm trying to bring you out of this, and you're not helping anything. If people hate me for associating with you, so fucking be it. I'm not letting you go, not for this."


	28. Wait, What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and leave a review.

" _Tori…"_

" _No, Jade. You're being fucking stubborn. I get it, you're upset, but that's not going to help anything. I understand that I'm not going to be able to erase what's happened and I damn sure will never be able to make you forget it. And unless you listen to me and let me help, I won't be able to do anything." She sighs. "Please, Jade. Please don't let this define you."_

_I take a deep breath, staring at my feet. What's done is done. Raising my head, my eyes meet Tori's and I nod once, letting her know that I need her more than anything right now. This isn't going to be easy, getting over Andre's death, but if Tori's by my side, I might be able to ignore what people think. I just wish she didn't have to go through so much to be with me._

Tori cuddles into my side as we lie on my bed, watching some ridiculous wannabe-scary movie on TV, my fingers tracing light circles on her arm. I miss things like this, just enjoying our peace and quiet, but I know it won't last very long. She's done the best she can at distracting me from my thoughts, which helps a lot during the day, but I still have nightmares that I haven't yet told her about. I don't want her to worry. She does enough of it as it is.

She moves her head, kissing my neck, and I smile, cupping her cheek and kissing her. And soon enough, the movie is forgotten, and one very beautiful Tori Vega is straddling my hips, taking my attention. We don't get very far, my hands having just slipped beneath her shirt when there's someone knocking on my closed bedroom door, and I sigh against Tori's lips. She pulls away and runs a hand through her hair before crossing the room and opening the door for Cat.

The redhead stares at me for a moment, realizing and not caring that she had just interrupted something. "I was told to come and get you both for dinner." Her eyes flicker between Tori and me once before she turns and heads down the hallway to the stairs. Tori glances back at me and I sigh, rolling out of bed and untangling my hair with my fingers.

Tori stops me before I walk through the doorway, one hand on my cheek as she kisses me, and she smiles, leaving me to follow as she goes for the stairs. The four Valentines sit at the table, waiting for us, and I notice that Cat's brother is the only one who seems happy to see both of us. But even with everything that's been going on he's never been against either one of us, no matter what we've done.

Dinner is uneventful; the typical conversation of work and the day's events filling the silence, and I nearly choke on my potatoes when Mrs. Valentine asks how school was. Tori saves me, smile in place, as she lies and says that it went fine before changing the subject to gardening. I mentally laugh at her chosen topic and she smirks, rolling her eyes. Cat's mother goes on and on about flowers and how she wants a small garden in the back of the house, but neither of us is really paying attention. Tori's leg hooks around mine at the ankle and we exchange the same smile.

Maybe things will be okay after this.

Tori and I offer to wash the dishes once everyone's finished eating, and Cat rolls her eyes, grabbing her brother's wrist and dragging him upstairs. The elder Valentines retire to the living room, and I pull Tori close to me by the sink. Kissing her, I smile. "Thanks, Tori."

She kisses my cheek. "Do the dishes." I wash and rinse while she dries and puts the dishes away, and I glance at her every so often. She seems to be thinking about something, and suddenly my heart stops in my chest. When Tori thinks, something always ends up wrong, and the only thing I can think of is… "Will you calm down? You look like someone just broke—" She cuts off when I look at her and she shakes her head. "I'm not breaking up with you. I didn't go through that entire speech today just to change my mind." To emphasize, she grabs my face with both hands and kisses me hard. "I'll tell you about it later when we're alone."

I nod and she lets go of me, drying the rest of the dishes and putting them wherever they belong in the cabinets. It's strange how she knows this kitchen better than I do, but whatever, it isn't important. What _is_ important is getting Tori alone in my room so that she can explain whatever has her in a weird mood. But as we climb the stairs, we can hear Cat and her brother's voices coming from her room. "Will you cut her some slack?" At least Cat's brother is on my side. "She's been to jail. And on top of everything, she's been dealing with shit for years that's just now gone away."

"That's not an excuse! She could have just walked away, but she didn't. Yeah, I get that Andre was threatening their relationship, but she didn't have to kill him over it."

"She didn't kill him over it, Cat. She defended herself and saved Tori's father's life in the process."

"Ugh! Can everyone just shut up about that? I get it. _Everyone_ gets it. It doesn't need to be repeated over and over like it's never been said before." Cat is really upset over this. "Andre didn't even kill Jade's father." My heart stops in my chest and Tori squeezes my hand, reminding me that she's still standing there. If Andre didn't kill my father, who did?

Apparently, the Valentine son was thinking the exact same thing. "Cat, do you know who killed him?" I lean against the wall, hoping that Cat will answer the question. She doesn't. "Do you know who it was?" There's nothing but silence until Cat's bedroom door opens and her brother comes out into the hallway. His eyes meet mine and he knows that we overheard them. "Jade—"

"Who?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Who killed him? Who fucking killed him?" I'm fighting back tears and the urge to grab him and slam him against the wall until he tells me, but he doesn't. He's just as confused as I am, and I don't know what's worse; the fact that Cat knows and we don't, or the fact that my father's killer is probably still walking around free.

I'm barely aware of Tori's arms around me as she holds me, the tears breaking through the dam, and all I can see is red.


	29. Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally meant to be the last chapter, but then I dreamt the epilogue.

I stare at Cat's brother over Jade's head, but I don't find any answers. He looks just as broken about this as Jade is, and when I open my mouth to speak, he just shakes his head and passes us into his room, slamming his door shut. I want to go to Cat, to find out what she was thinking, knowing that Jade would come upstairs at any moment. She wasn't even quiet about it!

Jade suddenly breaks away from me, heading for Cat's room. I grab her wrist to stop her, and when she turns and glares at me, I know it's not the smartest thing to do. "Let go of me, Tori." I shake my head and pull her toward her room, but it's as though she's rooted to the spot. I can see past the anger in her eyes that she's hurting badly right now, but if I let her go to Cat… "Vega, I swear to God, if you don't let go of me—"

"Jade, please just think about what you're going to do. If you go in there, you're just going to end up hurting both of us. Just come to your room and talk to me."

My heart breaks with the look she gives me, but it cracks completely with what comes out of her mouth. "I fucking hate you, Vega. You ruined my life." And I'm so caught off-guard that I forget that I'm holding her wrist, and she breaks free from my grip, glaring at me. And honestly, I don't if she actually means it or if she's saying it just because she's upset and angry. "If it weren't for you, none of this shit would have happened."

"Jade, you don't mean that."

"Yes, I do. If you didn't follow me that night, I wouldn't have had to worry about whether or not you had made it home. I wouldn't have even fucking cared if I had been killed. It would have gotten me away from you." I feel my chest tightening, but she's done talking. "Get the fuck away from me, Vega."

I don't know what to do other than nod, my vision blurry from the tears I'm trying so hard to fight back. "Jade…" She looks away and I know I need to leave or I'm going to do something we're both going to regret. I sigh. "I love you." With that, I turn and leave her, heading downstairs. I exchange goodbyes with Mr. and Mrs. Valentine and rush outside to my car, slamming my head against the steering wheel, allowing myself to cry.

I don't know how long I sat there, but when I finally drive home, I had cried myself out of tears. Trina is sitting on the couch when I open the front door, and she jumps to her feet when she sees my face. "What's wrong? What did Jade do this time?"

I close the door behind me and shake my head, walking toward the stairs. "I don't want to talk about it," I tell her, climbing the steps slowly. "If Mom and Dad ask, I'm asleep." I don't wait for her response, but I know she isn't going to push for an answer this time. Once I'm in my room, I close my door and cross the room, falling onto my bed. All I can think about is Jade and her words, stabbing through me like shrapnel from a bomb, and it hurts.

She's just upset, I know, but that doesn't make it any better to deal with. She may as well have broken up with me and for absolutely no reason this time. But she's also right. I did ruin her life. And there's no way to go back in time to change anything. Even if there was, it wouldn't make things right. Jade was in this mess long before I came into her life, but if I hadn't followed her to the mental hospital, she never would have had to worry about whether or not I was okay. She wouldn't have been distracted.

I hear a knock on my bedroom door before Trina opens the door slightly and pokes her head in. I open my mouth to tell her to go away, but she shakes her head. "I know you wanted to be left alone, but Beck's downstairs and he wants to talk to you."

I sigh and roll out of bed, following her downstairs. Beck's sitting on the couch, staring at his hands in his lap, and I wonder just what the hell this is. Beck and I haven't spoken too much lately, but if he's here and he's upset, something must be wrong. I walk around the couch to stand in front of him, but he never looks up. "Tori…" I nearly jump out of my skin at the unexpected sound and he takes a deep breath. "You're going to hate me."

BREAK

" _You're lying!" I shout. How could Cat lie to my face like that? "He couldn't have done it! I was with him before it happened."_

_She shakes her head. "He went to your house after you went back home, Jade. And before you go off and judge him, you need to know why he did it." I raise my brow expectantly, waiting for her to continue explaining for Beck, but she sighs. "I can't tell you something that he has to. And please don't go to him before he's ready to tell you."_

I sit against the wall in my bedroom and stare at my knees. Beck should have told me to begin with, instead of pretending. That's what hurts more than anything, even more than the fact that he killed my father. What I don't understand, though, is why he told Cat instead of me.

I need to talk to him.

Taking my cell phone from my pocket, I scroll through my contacts for Beck and wait as it rings. He answers on the last ring before his voicemail, and his voice is hoarse, as though he's been crying. "Come to Tori's. I need to talk to you." He doesn't wait for my response and I groan when the call ends. Why is he at Tori's anyway?

I frown. I told her that she ruined my life and to get away from me. I've never seen her so hurt and I hated myself as soon as I said it. But I needed her to let me talk to Cat and I didn't want her to get caught in the crossfire. Cat and I haven't exactly been the best of friends lately, and I didn't know how bad it was going to be between us.

Without thinking too much along the way, I find myself in the Vega driveway twenty minutes later, keys in hand as I knock on the front door. When it opens, Tori's eyes are sad, knowing before she opened the door that it was me and I open my mouth to speak, allowing every word to burst from my mouth like word vomit. "Tori, I'm sorry. What I said, I didn't mean it, I just, I needed you to get away from me before things got bad."

Tori shakes her head. "You don't have to explain, Jade. Besides, this isn't the best time to talk about this. You need to talk to Beck." She steps aside and lets me pass her into the living room. Beck is sitting on the couch, head in his hands, and I know what he's going to say. I want to tell him that I just want to know why he did it, but the second his eyes meet mine, a lump forms in my throat and I can't speak.

Tori sits on the opposite chair, staring at the floor, and I know that she's here if I need her, not to be in the way of this conversation. "Jade, I—" Beck pauses, taking a deep breath. "Look, I have no excuse for what I did because I don't have a valid reason for why I killed your father. I just went to talk to him, and he said some things about you and mentioned the gang and—"

"He mentioned the gang? What did he say about them?" He has my attention now. What did my father know about the gang?

He looks at me, his eyes suddenly dark. "You didn't meet Carlos by accident. What happened to us, that wasn't random." He shakes his head and turns his head away from me. "Damn it, Jade, he set it all up. This whole fucking situation, it's all because of him!" I've never seen Beck with so much anger. But he has every reason to be. If what he's saying is true, then he had indirectly tried to kill Beck and ruin my life.

That actually doesn't surprise me.

I glance at Tori, who's been quiet. Because of my father, she's in this mess, and somehow, I feel like it's my fault. Her eyes meet mine and she frowns. I want to speak, to apologize, but there's a lump in my throat and I don't know how to fix any of this. Instead, I turn to Beck and my mind is made up. "I should hate you, Beck, but I can't. Because of him, you and I, and Tori, we're all in this mess because of him. He was nothing to me, and this just confirms that. Even if he were alive right now, I couldn't forgive him."

Beck bows his head. "Jade, just because he did this, I still didn't have any right. He didn't act like your father, but he still was." He stands and looks at me before walking toward the door. "I'm going to go and turn myself in."

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. "No, Beck, don't turn yourself in." Two pairs of eyes watch me with confusion, and I turn to face Beck. "Look, I've been in jail. You definitely don't deserve to be there, no matter what you've done. Besides, everyone thinks Andre did it. Why tell them the truth when you don't have to?" And I can't believe I'm saying any of this, or why I'm even protecting him. "Please."

He sighs, hand on the doorknob. "Goodbye, Jade." With one glance at Tori, he forces a smile. "Take care of her." With that, he's gone, disappeared from our lives, and I almost collapse where I stand.

Tori's arms wrap around my waist and she holds me close to her, burying her face in my neck. We both stand in silence, just trying to wrap our heads around everything, and I'm frozen inside and out, shocked that everything turned out this way. But everything comes to an end, the good and the bad, and I'm glad that this is over.

But is it really worth the price?

The front door opens and Trina comes in, but where I'm expecting her to speak and ask what I've done wrong this time—Let's face it, she always thinks it's my fault that Tori's upset—she's completely silent, heading upstairs to her room. I don't know why, but I was hoping she would say something, anything, that could make me focus on being annoyed by her, rather than being upset about Beck. I guess it's a little too much to ask.

I run a hand through Tori's hair and kiss the top of her head. "Come on, I think we need some sleep." She takes me by the hand and leads me upstairs to her room, closing the door behind us. And lying in her arms, just being together and ignoring the world around us, I'm not worried where we'll end up because it will always be just us.


	30. Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ending this year by posting the final chapter of this story. Thank you to everyone who left kudos, bookmarked, and commented. It has been much appreciated. 
> 
> Please enjoy and leave a review.

"Get the fuck out of the way!"

"Jade, it's a red light."

I groan, fingers tapping angrily on the steering wheel. Stupid people in stupid Los Angeles not knowing how to fucking drive are really getting on my nerves. A hand covers mine and stops my fingers mid-tap, and I glance at the brunette in the passenger seat. She smiles and leans toward me, kissing me.

I nearly forget we're sitting in my car in traffic until the guy behind me honks his horn and I flip him off, putting as little pressure on the accelerator so that we're creeping, just to piss him off. Tori shakes her head and sighs with embarrassment, and it's almost obvious that her thoughts are reading somewhere in the vicinity of having me as a girlfriend. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm trying to speed. It's not like I have an actual interest in today's events.

"You know what I don't get?" She looks at me. "How in the hell did Trina even manage to get a boyfriend? I mean, after all that time in high school, no guy wanted her. No one really liked her. And suddenly she's getting _married_? Doesn't that seem a little off to you? Maybe she drugged him or something."

"Jade, I don't know how she did it either, but she's still my sister." I roll my eyes and turn into the beach parking lot. Not only did Trina Vega manage to actually find someone who wanted her, she's getting married on the beach in the biggest way possible.

Hey, she's still Trina.

Once I'm parked and turned the car off, I get out and close my door before walking around to the passenger side and opening Tori's door. She takes my outstretched hand and climbs out of the car, kissing my cheek and closing the door. We walk toward the wedding site, where the poor pathetic groom is standing in the middle of a circle of flowers. Cat and Beck are sitting somewhere in the back of the nearly empty seats, flagging us down, but Tori insisted this morning that I sit with her parents during the ceremony.

I actually consider sneaking away from Tori, but as though she's read my mind, her fingers slip between mine and she squeezes tightly. She waves to Cat and Beck, both of their faces amused with the fact that Tori Vega is so in control of me here, and I roll my eyes. Mr. and Mrs. Vega don't seem too thrilled to be here either, so at least I'm not alone in my misery.

I don't even pay attention to the ceremony, focused completely on Tori as the bridesmaid, so I'm not even going to waste time describing Trina's weird dress or the creep she's marrying. Tori's dress, on the other hand, is only beautiful because she's wearing it, but I wouldn't hesitate to rip it off of her if I had the chance. I glance at the Vega parents out of the corner of my eye, noticing that they're more interested in the ocean on the other side of Trina, and honestly, I can't blame them. Even though I really shouldn't say that, considering Tori went through hell to convince Trina to invite me.

I think it was a waste of breath.

Luckily, the torment doesn't last very long, and I'm thrilled for the reception so that I can drink as much as I can to forget I ever experienced this. Tori leans close to me, kissing just below my ear. "Don't drink too much or you're sleeping on the couch," she whispers, and I consider her threat, my eyes narrowed.

"So how did your sister—" Beck starts, but Tori shakes her head with a sigh, as if telling him that she's tired of hearing that question. I suppose it isn't _too_ hard to believe that Vega point one found a loophole in the "forever alone" contract. "Oh, hey, let's go get something to drink." I laugh, earning a slap on the shoulder by Tori. I try to hold her hand, but she pulls hers away from me and I know I'm sleeping on the couch tonight. It's going to take a hell of a lot of groveling to be in the clear again.

She walks away once we reach the canopy, taking Cat with her, and I'm stuck with Beck by the entrance. He's trying not to laugh, knowing that I'll hit him if he does. “So, you and Cat are here as friends, right?"

Beck shrugs. "I don't know what we are anymore. She says we're friends, but she's been staying in my apartment a lot of nights lately." He glances in the direction of the Tori and Cat. "How have you and Tori been lately? It seems like she's gotten you wrapped around her finger." He laughs like it's the greatest joke he's ever told, and I roll my eyes. "Come on, Jade. It's a nice change seeing someone in charge of you for once."

"She isn't in charge of me, Beck. I don't let her tell me what to do. You should know that."

He smirks. "By the look she gave you and the fact that she's not over here with you when in fact I know she would be, despite the fact that she's having a conversation with Cat right now, I'd say you're in trouble, Jade. The only other thing I can think of is that you two aren't together, and we both know that isn't true, considering you were holding hands when you got here. So, the explanation is that you're sleeping on the couch tonight. Admit I'm right so we can continue this conversation."

And I hate the fact that Beck knows me so well that he can read between the lines of my relationship with Tori. But it helps me figure things out when he actually explains what I already know. "You're fucking conceited, you know that?" He nods, shoving his hands in his pockets and I look around for the drinks. I freeze, realizing that drinking isn't going to help me out of this situation. "Hey, I'll see you later, Beck. Fix things with Cat." I maneuver through the small crowd and reach Tori and Cat, who are standing next to the drink table. Grabbing my girlfriend's hand, I excuse her from our redheaded friend and drag her away to the quiet corner of the tent. "The last time you were mad at me, I ended up walking six miles home in the pouring rain. The time before that, I wasn't allowed to touch you for two months. I don't want you to be mad at me, not today." I look at her. "And it really sucks that you always choose today to get mad at me. So, I told myself I wasn't going to let you."

"Jade—”

"Look, I love you, more than I thought I ever would. And after all the shit we've been through, what we've survived through, there's not much that can hurt us. I'm tired of being the one getting hurt or hurting you." I sigh. "I want—I want to start a garden fire."

She stares at me, confused more than I've ever seen her. If it were any other occasion or any other person, I would probably start laughing now, but I can't. "Jade, what in the hell are you talking about?" I'm surprised she isn't laughing about how ridiculous my statement was.

"The reason we're together, it all started with a garden fire. The best thing to ever happen in my life started with a garden fire. If I start one, the rest of my life will be the best." I take a deep breath. "I want always with you."

She's quiet for a moment and it crosses my mind that she might turn and walk away from me. But after a few minutes, she leans forward and kisses me, taking my hand and leading me toward my car. "Let's go start a garden fire."


End file.
